Happy Birthday Tallulah

It’s your 19th birthday today. Imagine that?! It’s crazy times isn’t it?

And what a way to spend it. Sunning yourself in Lake Garda with your friends, on the last day of your travels before you come home to prepare to go off to university in the Autumn. That’s quite a thing.

A few years ago, when you were so sick, if I had told you that this would be you at 19 I don’t think you would have believed me for a second. Look at how far you’ve come since then. It’s the closest I know I’ve ever come to a miracle and I am so very grateful for it.

Although to be fair, it’s the kind of miracle that only happens with hard work, perseverance and a willingness to get better, and that’s what you have and had in spades. It’s all thanks to your own strength and bravery that we are here right now and I hope you never forget that.

You are the miracle.

It is unspeakably wonderful to see that all the things we hoped for you are happening and that you are in a position to enjoy them and make the most of them. I am so proud of you, it makes my heart ache just thinking about it.

In the last year you have moved out, learned to manage your money, got a job, got another job, organised yourself to go traveling across Europe, applied for university and dealt with all the ups and downs of life that all of that brings. You have faced your fears and managed the lows as well as enjoying the highs and you have learned to understand yourself so much better. That’s brave and resourceful and clever and it has been a privilege to see you do it all. I know that everything you have done in the last year has helped to build strong foundations for the future. I am confident that whatever you choose to do next, you will rock it. How could you not?

Now it’s not you I’m worried about any more, it’s me. What will I do without you?

I adore you and being allowed to be your mum is a massive privilege. Thank you so much for sharing your life with me. I am so looking forward to being able to visit you when you move to Brighton and even though I am very old now, I know you will find fun ways to keep me occupied!

And let’s spend the summer building more memories to keep me going when I can’t just nip down the road to give you a squeeze and eat Colin cakes with you while we watch trash telly, please.

Happy birthday darling girl. I love you millions and then some.