The world keeps turning.
We incrementally inch forward. Some days we slump back.
Things are very, very hard right now.
The boy had his first day back at school on Friday. I called repeatedly earlier in the week to try and speak to his head of house to make sure he would be supported. I finally got through on Thursday afternoon. She assured me of all kinds of things, only some of which they actually delivered on Friday. Too little, too late and some not at all.
I am honestly furious.
What made me most furious was when I finally got hold of his head of house on Friday after school she said, ‘He was fine when he spoke to me. He’s doing really well.’ I was very good and didn’t march down there to set fire to the school, but did point out that I didn’t think he would particularly want to confide in her and that instead of her five minute assessment of a boy she barely knows and hardly tolerates and has had repeated run ins with in the past, that perhaps it was best if she took it from me that he really wasn’t.
My main takeaway from this is that we do a good ‘talk’ about mental health and being open, but in practice, most adults want kids (and everyone else) to spend a maximum of two days being sad and then to go back to ‘normal’ as quickly as possible because a) they are busy and mental health is not compatible with time tables and b) they are emotionally constipated and don’t like feeling uncomfortable when emotions don’t comply to a handy meme or a tick box Ted talk.
And it is no wonder that children’s mental health services are in crisis.
We have had very little sleep this weekend as a consequence.
I have promised the boy I will not make a formal complaint, but all bets are off if they mess this up again.
I have other news.
I start working as a part time bookseller at Waterstones on Wednesday. I need regular, paid employment as our financial situation is interesting.
I may be a part time bookseller but it appears I am a full time filler in of pointless paperwork right now.
I can’t say I’m excited about the job, because my home life is such that I am holding things together on several fronts and I am existing on about four hours sleep a night at the moment with one thing and another.
I always wondered how an in real life job would fit in with my unpaid vocation as the holder up of many lives.
We are about to find out.