My darling Tallulah got three grade A A Levels this morning. Her girlfriend got A*, A, B and we are delighted for them both because this last year has been an absolute trial of endurance for them both in terms of education. And anyone who says that they were graded up this year can get in the sea, frankly. They have both had more exams and assessments than anyone has ever had for A levels and they have worked incredibly hard under extraordinarily trying circumstances and both with their own personal, mental health demons to fight on top. They are superwomen both and I love them with all my heart.
Mind you, I would love them with all my heart even if they had burned the school down and run away to join a circus with no qualifications whatsoever, but I am overjoyed that they are overjoyed and that this, interminable part of their lives is now done and dusted.
In other news, we as a family had some horrendously tragic and sad news at the weekend. I am not at liberty to share it, but it has caused an enormous amount of heartbreak and grief here and I am aching with sorrow over the whole thing.
What was a great comfort to me was that when we found out, all the members of the family who weren’t at home, came. They dropped everything and came. And they stayed. And even in the midst of all the grief I was in awe of what a beautiful, compassionate and loving family I have. And I include my beloved Bred (Tilly’s partner) and Dani (Tallulah’s partner) in that word, family.
We held each other. We cried. We laughed. We stuck together. We watched terrible films and ate terrible food and stayed up with each other when we couldn’t sleep. When everyone went home the next day, they have still checked in, multiple times a day. They have kept talking, kept sharing and accepted the whole, messy, terrible, devastating, loving parcel.
It was like watching my family building itself around me, around us. Each one of us separate and together, different and the same.
And there was so much love.
And it was so simple and easy. It was in a cup of tea, a proffered slice of pizza, the pat of a shoulder, the swiftness of a hug. It was in the things they said to each other and the things they didn’t. It was in the absolute acceptance that they are there for each other, no matter what and they might not always get it right, but they always turn up. They are always there.
And as much as I ache with this sorrow, I also ache with pride and I am bursting with love, because what they did for each other over this last few days is worth a thousand A Levels.
I love them so much.
I am a lucky woman.