Day Seventy – Grumpiness and snacks

Even though I woke up early this morning, I chose to stay in bed, dozing until midday because I was still feeling extremely meh about things and sleeping through meh, if at all possible, is a really self loving thing to do.

I can’t keep away from the news. It’s like picking a scab, only picking a scab is probably slightly better for my health.

At one point during lockdown I had almost weaned myself off it. Then I got complacent and like any addiction, it has snuck back until BAM, there I am. Scrolling and raging, raging and scrolling. Telling myself to step away and then going back for one more look even though I know I’ll still be raging.

Not good.

Still, I shall perservere with attempting to wean myself off it again. I will either get so furious I explode, or I will manage to step away and do something more fruitful because I’m boring myself witless. I’m hoping for the boring rather than the exploding.

In positive news:

The defrosted cake is delicious.

I went for a walk and bought an ice-cream and some chocolate milkshake because it appears I am still only 8.

My walks are getting easier and less sore and I feel I may even be up for some yoga at some point this week, which will be good for all the stress and rage I am storing in my neck muscles.

The new balloon whisk for the mixer arrived. This means that when the freezer cake is done, I shall be in a position to make another.

Grayson’s Art Club was very soothing.

Tallulah did the cleaning today, so things are less sticky, domestically speaking.

The weather has been glorious and the roses round the pergola have bloomed. The scent is wonderful.

We had chicken Kiev for dinner. I love chicken Kiev. It’s one of those nostalgia for my childhood things.

I realise that many things on this list are food related. You might, if you didn’t know me very well, put this down to lockdown, but you would be wrong. Jason and I were talking about holidays yesterday and all our memories were like: ‘Was that where we had that excellent steak/cake/icecream?’ Nearly all our best memories are food related. Some of our worst ones are too. Like that time I knew I had to take Tallulah to the hospital because she refused a large piece of chocolate birthday cake.

It’s all about the food. And the rage. But hopefully the rage will dissipate and the food will be left.



4 responses to “Day Seventy – Grumpiness and snacks

  1. Oh God the scab picking thing really resonates with me, I need to stop but I have zero self control. I need distractions, preferably not of the snack variety though. Anyway it’s perfectly possible to scoff and scroll, as long as you don’t choke with indignation…

  2. Love Grayson art club. What about the little boy who remembers the passing of his twin every year; so sweet and so sad at the same time. Even Grayson was welling up.😢

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