Today needs to be another pep talk day, frankly. I spent most of yesterday evening in either floods of tears, mild rage, rolling sweats or palpitations and exhaustion. Add to that a killer headache and being so tired I didn’t actually exercise yesterday at all, I’d say it was a bit of a shit show. And that’s me being optimistic.
Today I have woken up late, still exhausted and headachey and have cried four times already, and there isn’t anyone else in the house.
That is not an excuse for not picking myself up and doing what I can. That has to happen as well. This probably explains the exhaustion.
Here are the good things:
I cooked a bloody lovely dinner yesterday. Jamie Oliver’s Empire Roast chicken (basically a chicken marinaded in home made curry paste before you roast) with Jamie’s Bombay roast potatoes. I also made Sabrina Ghayour’s tomato and green bean stew as a side dish, and we had a huge green salad that I tossed with peas, garlic, coriander and spring onions that I had lightly fried in olive oil. The oil from the pan with salt and pepper were the dressing for the salad. It was great. Today, because I need it, we will have chicken and vegetable soup made with the leftovers. I have made a malted, seeded loaf to eat it with.
I have meal planned the rest of the week and done an online shop so that we actually have the right ingredients.
I have done more research into oestrogen and its lingering effects. Turns out that all the foods I craved post surgery, where I lost 4kg and my BP started to drop, are oestrogen chucker outers. I feel that this is significant. I have planned to put some of these foods back into my diet pronto ( oily fish, oats and seeds, dark green veg) to see if that helps. On the understanding that it’s not a magic bullet, but that it won’t hurt, and I am lucky in that I like these foods anyway. Also, it gives me something to do.
For some reason, I had stopped taking all my vitamin/mineral supplements post surgery. I started taking them again yesterday. I rattle when I walk, but that’s ok.
I am still reading. Things are slower as my physical activity rates and exhaustion rise and fall, but still reading. A book blog will be forthcoming.
I am listening to the podcast, My Dad Wrote A Porno. I know I am late to the party, but it is very funny, and it is giving me joy.
I have nearly finished watching season six of Rupaul’s Drag Race. I still want to be a drag queen when I grow up. It makes me happy.
I did some light dusting yesterday. The children helped with other jobs. The house is a little cleaner. I feel a little better.
Andrea bought me some M&S dark chocolate (52%) with freeze dried raspberries in it. I am savouring it, a square at a time. It’s lovely.
Oscar is reading me Night Watch by Terry Pratchett. We are both enjoying it so much, and it is a pleasure to snuggle up on the sofa with him while he reads to me. Grown ups do not get read to enough. It really is a wonderful treat.
Jason paid the balance on our holiday today. We are going away to my favourite cottage in my favourite corner of North Wales again for the week before Christmas. We did it last year and it was such a wonderful respite from the stresses of the season that we decided to do it again. All my other holidays this year have fallen by the wayside. This one will not. The thought of it, shimmering on the horizon is what is keeping me going.