The Menopause Diaries

Ever since I had my jab on Wednesday afternoon I have been waiting for myself to go off like a giant, hormonal bomb of menopause. I have woken up every morning undergoing a kind of inventory. Moustache? Nope. Hot flush? Nope. Dried out husk like appearance? Nope.

It has only been two days, but the consultant was quite firm in listing side effects, general menopausal effects and the idea that rather than drip feeding me the menopause over say, two years, I would be getting it all in one big blast. I don’t think she quite meant within forty eight hours, but better safe than sorry. Don’t want any sneaky symptoms creeping up and taking me by surprise.

So I have been prodding away at myself suspiciously, like something the cat has dragged in, and it is mostly making me laugh at myself a lot. I am not very good at medication and apart from over the counter migraine medication I don’t take anything, ever, so I have a lot of preconceptions about what drugs will and won’t do. It seems I think they are like a medical magic wand.

I have had some symptoms, but then I am five days away from a period, so this is not entirely surprising. What is surprising however, is how mild the symptoms are. Could this be because of being jabbed in the arse with a giant needle on Wednesday afternoon? If it is, they can jab me in the arse every Wednesday from now till kingdom come if they want.

So far:

Mild and sporadic nausea rather than not being able to cook/eat or sit in the same room where food is being consumed.

Sore boobs – meh. I can live with, do live with this. Feeling like my tits have been trapped in a drawer is not great, but it’s on the tolerable end of the spectrum.

Mild cramping and that weird sense that the world is going to fall out your vagina.

A headache which is heading into its 24th hour, which is unpleasant, but which is only a headache and not a migraine.

This is all. Everything. The lot.

Seven days before my last period I felt like the world was going to end. Emotionally I had had it and physically things weren’t in much better shape.

God knows if it’s the drugs, but right now I don’t care and I’m counting my blessings, every last one.



5 responses to “The Menopause Diaries

  1. Been through it. Two it took. If i could have had it soured up and over and done with I would have cried hallelujah. Good luck Katy

  2. Glad you’re feeling a weensey bit better Katy. Let it continue! 😘

  3. frenchbrandywine

    Dear Katy, you may be lucky like me. I had an early menopause at 42 years old and can honestly say that apart from masses of PMT and a 3 week grand finale, nothing else happened to me – I was put on HRT because of the earliness of it all but really, was very lucky by all accounts. I will keep my fingers crossed for you. xxx
    PS: why MENopause do you think?

  4. When I was expecting my first daughter I had so many false alarms and was so overdue (my body obviously wanted her out but she wasn’t convinced!) that they eventually decided to admit me to the maternity ward. I then spent two hellish days listening to gruesome tales from the other mothers on the ordeal they had just undergone. I totally understand why they did it, I did it myself after the event, but NOT to expectant mothers. It’s too flipping late to change your mind and you are already quite scared enough without hearing how one woman apparently should have had international rescue to assist with the birth, rather than the usual maternity team…
    On the strength of this experience I make it a point never to indulge in birth, hysterectomy, menopause etc etc stories to anyone on the verge of undergoing it themselves. We are all different and the way we experience these things, both physically and mentally, varies enormously. Even the hot flushes, which I think are inevitable during menopause, affect some women much more than others.
    Having had a hysterectomy in my thirties, I decided to go cold turkey when I reached fifty and stop taking my HRT. As I have no ovaries, I produce zero hormones myself and therefore had the equivalent of an accelerated menopause. Guess what? I lived – I’m as mad as a box of frogs at the best of times and, like you, have had some pretty unpleasant symptoms to deal with most of my life, so nothing it threw at me was particularly unmanageable.
    Even twenty years after my last period I still have days when I think ‘thank God I don’t have to go through that anymore’, the relief never wears off.

    Hope your boobs feel better soon! Xxx

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