Spinning Straw into…Slightly Mashed Straw

Dear Blog Readers

Yesterday we walked about five hundred miles (a nod to the Proclaimers there), spending the day exploring Chiswick, Turnham Green and Chiswick Park. We ate amazing pho in a Vietnamese cafe and the children climbed trees in the park. Most satisfying.

Love from Mrs. Boo

I have noticed a trend in modern society (said Mrs. Methuselah). It’s what I call the Rumpelstiltskin syndrome. It involves people repeatedly asking other people for things which are impossible to achieve/have, short of some kind of magical/religious intervention. The person asking, knows that they are impossible, but simultaneously holds the belief that if they ask enough times, and shout loud enough, that the impossible will suddenly become possible and they will get what they want.

They stubbornly cling to this belief regardless of how many times they are disappointed in the outcome. They refuse to change their mindset, because clearly it cannot be their thinking that is in error, it is in fact the fault of the minion failing to provide the service/goods that is the problem. If only they had been more creative, worked harder, thrown more resources at the issue, it would have been resolved to their liking, and all the straw would have been spun into gold.

I partially blame Alan Sugar and The Apprentice for this. He’s always barking ridiculous orders at people in nasty suits and expecting modern day miracles before firing people into the outer darkness if they don’t achieve them within five minutes. I also think it has a lot to do with the fact that another symptom of modern society is that we have fostered a belief in children that they are brilliant no matter what they do or say, and that anything is possible if we just try/shout hard enough.

Failure is a naughty word, and yet failure is an inevitable part of life’s rich pattern, and is also proven to be a very effective means by which we learn to  be flexible and pick ourselves up and start again.

In my opinion, the referendum was a gigantic failure.

Have we learned from it? Have we fuck.

No. Not one, single, solitary thing.

Politics is still all about the in fighting and not about the looking outwards. Soon, the only people left in politics will be the lady who pushes the tea trolley round Westminster and Geoff who looks after the car park, and they’ll be at each other like knives by tea time.

It’s still all about short termism, and not about making long term, achievable plans. Instead, when the wheels fall off, (see the economic situation today. We are at 2009 levels of growth. By growth I mean shrinkage, obviously), we merely reset the goal posts and say that we have had to rethink our strategy. Yep, that’s right. We still believe it is possible to spin gold out of straw, we just need another month to figure it out. How are we going to figure it out? Well, we’re going to see if shouting louder, having pointier index fingers and blaming even more people for our own mistakes will work. Because, you know, it worked so brilliantly for us last time.

Just ask Hitler. (Sorry for breaking the internet there – I just couldn’t resist it)

It’s still all about scapegoating whichever vulnerable party we can find to stand still long enough, to pin the blame on. I myself, have a long list of people I blame for the ills of society:

People who refuse to believe that Austrian blinds are the work of the devil.

People who stone clad houses. Particularly people who stone clad houses in the middle of a terrace when none of the other houses are stone clad.

People who patiently wait for the bus for twenty minutes, get on the bus and only then look for their bus pass/money.

People who stop dead at the top/bottom of escalators and look around wonderingly as if they’ve just arrived in Narnia, then tut when people crash into them.

The inventor of the Fig Roll.

I do at least, realise that these beliefs are not enough to build an actual government on. I could probably run the local council, mind you. My by-laws would become things of legend.

Today’s rant was prompted by an article in The Guardian where they report that Angela Merkel has met with Theresa May to tell Theresa that she cannot have free trade across Europe if she is not prepared to accept  open borders.




This is not news. This is fact. It has always been fact. It has been made clear by the EU right from the start that we will not be able to have all the sweets we want without paying for them in some way. This was never negotiable.

It is so bloody obvious that I do not even have the words to talk about it. We as a nation have nothing to barter with and everything to lose here, and still our politicians keep spinning us the lie that the straw in our hands will become gold through their ability to be silver tongued charmers. Really?

I might have just about bought it if we had someone negotiating for us like, I don’t know, Shakespeare, or even Stephen Fry at a pinch, both good with words. But who have we got? We’ve got Boris Bloody Stupid Johnson, who has been roundly humiliated in every single press conference and meeting he has held since his appointment as foreign secretary and who has all the persuasive powers of a damp sponge, David Davis who still hasn’t shown anyone any proof that he even has the most basic grasp of what he’s being asked to do, and Theresa May. Theresa May, whose idea of turning on the charm is to impersonate the iron lady herself, and who has all the charisma of a police cell after a raucous Friday night.

But you know, Theresa is going to keep on shouting louder, pointing harder and blaming everyone else until we get what we want, because you know, that’s how the world works.

In fairy tales.




29 responses to “Spinning Straw into…Slightly Mashed Straw

  1. It’s just too depressing. I have no words. You’ve said it all.

    • It’s just so rubbish isn’t it?

      • How are you doing with WE? I’m not going to their conference, and I haven’t had a reply from my local(ish) group yet.

      • I haven’t managed to get to anything yet! Sophie Walker is coming to the Leicester chapter in August and it’s the day my sister in law is getting married in Weston Super Mare. So frustrating. I will let you know when I’m actually doing something other than supporting them with the odd donation and online stuff. x

      • Great. Likewise. I don’t know anyone else who’s ‘signed the pledge’ ….. yet x

  2. This is a dark day Katy. I usually agree with everything you say and even direct people to your blog as I shout “see SEE” in their lug ‘oles. But today you crossed a line. To cast nasturtiums at the inventor of the fig roll is utterly beyond the pale. I hope you reconsider and possibly print a retraction and full apology. Otherwise keep keeping on.

  3. Oooh, that’s a bit harsh! What have you got against fig rolls? I’m craving them, now you’ve mentioned them 😦

  4. For my side, more than these not really news developments I am more annoyed by some of the media continuing the Leave propaganda at full force. I just need to fight the urge when I see the Daily Express with some flagrant outspoken leave supporting headline to read what they are claiming now. Everything always written in the most smug condescending gloating tone and completely one sided.

    The confident bold claims that Britain is booming more than ever due to the Brexit vote. Saying the Remain crowd should be apologising now given the sky hasn’t fallen like their fear campaign implied. How the remain claims are now proven to be lies. The have coined the term: “Remoaners”. Anyone who supports the EU is painted as sad or a bit crazy. Statistics are quoted to back up their claims. Only ones that do. The FTSE 100 is up a bit. Some projected growth predictions. No mention of the credit downgrade or the poor performance of the Pound. If anyone doesn’t agree with their stance, they are discredited at length. The IMF doesn’t agree with rosy predictions? Discredit the organisation and its leaders…I mean what would the International Monetary Fund know about economics anyway? Who needs these so called experts when we just know we are right because we are.

    Of course they have to drop the soundbite “They need us more than we need them”.

    I know there are elements of truth mixed in but the complete one sided bias is just…..*sigh*

  5. oh Katy,why do I keep thinking a large glass of Merlot is the answer? I know its not, but what the hell! I’ll sort it out tomorrow x

  6. I’m glad your deft touch with words is still as sharp, even if you have walked 500 miles to get there! Lol
    It’s true, though – I was watching a previous PMQT, and the – for want of a better word – Opposition, spent every second that JC was trying to ask a question, by shouting, braying, and generally talking over each other, while easily ignoring the Speaker (who was telling them to be quiet, at the same time as he grinned conspiritorially at them).
    All of which, was an attempt to prevent said questions being asked.
    How much do we pay them?
    I think turning straw into gold will be easier than turning that bunch into truly adult human beings! 😦

  7. But Theresa was a Remainer! She knows very well what you’re saying. The first thing she has to do is build relationships with European leaders and if you are serious about negotiations but don’t take the first answer. You know that . . . . What do you say to those double glazing salesmen when they come knocking wanting you to pay 20K for your new windows?

    • It isn’t even the first answer though is it? That’s the thing. This just isn’t news, and I’d be more impressed if she were negotiating from a position that is at least tenable. As it is, I suspect she wants to never have to trigger article fifty and in real terms she is going about doing this, which will be a good thing, but I just hate the way it makes the news.

  8. smerlinchesters

    It’s all very depressing……..

  9. Reading the Grauniad will do that to a person, especially if you read the comments, I speak from experience. Today I have a hangover, we decided for no particular reason to drink copious amounts of Prosecco and stream music until silly o’clock yesterday – or more accurately this morning. Other people use the twilight of their years, post children, to take up new hobbies and meaningful pursuits, but we are prime examples of the generation who refuse to grow up and just act like teenagers….
    Anyway I tell you this because I have spent a fair bit of time today lounging lethargically on the sofa and tormenting myself with similar stories and some truly awe inspiringly idiotic responses to them, many demonstrating your Rumplestiltskin theory in spades.
    I have also come to the conclusion that it is very much the fashion to NOT HAVE A PLAN, and only unimaginative people (who actually have proper jobs and stuff) would indulge in such an outmoded concept.
    The government didn’t bother with one when they held a referendum of mind bogling significance, the Leave campaign didn’t trouble themselves with one either. Now the PLP, not to be outdone, are ably demonstrating that they can be just as short sighted.
    Have they considered their options if/when Jeremy Corbyn is re elected? Having comprehensively thrown all their toys out of the pram, are they all going to make up and start playing nicely again? They seem to be embracing your theory wholeheartedly – if they just keep repeating that it should not happen, somehow it won’t.
    I don’t know if you have heard ‘Fuckers’ by the Savages, it has become my new anthem. If you aren’t a fan of, and I quote, ‘post punk revival, noise rock bands’ (I did warn you I’m regressing to my youth) I will share some lyrics.

    Don’t let the fuckers get you down
    don’t let them take away this song
    don’t let the fuckers get you down
    don’t let them wonder why you frown

    we can fight until we’re dead
    don’t let them walk upon your head
    and we can drive away from town
    don’t let the fuckers get you down

    Best appreciated at two in the morning, yelling the chorus and dancing round the lounge, beats therapy any day.

    • I went to a festival over the weekend and saw the Wonderstuff for the first time in twenty years. An hour of pogoing and screaming lyrics did me the world of good, although my knees are absolutely bollocksed today.

  10. Great Katy, as always. I was reading a newspaper online, don’t remember which one and underneath there were suggestions for further reading. One headline caught my eye because it was so at odds with all the headlines of the other suggestions. Allis fine in the land of Brexit. We are doing fabulously. Everything is up and up so curiously, like Alice, (my literacy slip in) I read the article and low and behold the figures were there and they were up. Now I know some Maths, quite good at it actually, and I could see nothing wrong with the numbers so I scratched my head. Could it be I was remoaning over nothing? So I turned to finance expert, good at numbers but finance just does my head in!, and queried the article. He, why does it always have to be a he?, said quite simply, ” they are using first quarter figures”. Blow me down with SpongeBob’s square pants those nasty Leaver Leaders are still lying. That was when we were safely in the EU.!!! The rag was the Express and yes I know I shouldn’t read it. Thought I would share this with you. Keep writing and enjoying your time in London

  11. The trouble with politics is that too many people seem to be in it for what they can get out of it, rather than what they can give.

    As for Long Term views. In politics, apparently, Long Term is planning for what to do after we win the next election.

    That and everything is ‘instant’ these days. I blame Social Media!

    I just wish the ranting individuals in Parliamentary Labour Party would Get A Grip and start forming a credible Opposition. Goodness only knows we need one.

    • I think about that every morning when i look at the news, and every morning they seem to be disintegrating further into squabbles. It’s sickening. x

  12. It’s all very depressing. Like the constant rain here. And now Endatheworld Kenny has been over talking to Britain’s reinvention of the Iron Lady about how Ireland’s border with NI is going to work… There is no way they can make it work in a way that will suit either the North, or the South or anyone. Endastory.

  13. Bit late to this as I’m on me own ollidees. I agree completely that it is not news to the thinking folk (or even the ones who just listened without thinking). However we know most did not listen or think (their guts did all the work) and they won’t be reading the Guardian article either. Knowing what will happen is not the same as it actually happening, so I am assuming the PM wants all the media to hear it (a) officially and (b) from Angela who can then be set up as the devil incarnate denying us the Sunny Uplands that were promised to us by the Angels of Brexit. Theresa will need to repeat this “news” a million times before it penetrates, so you’ll be tearing your hair out for a while I’m afraid.

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