Thank you to the 300,000 people who read my blog since yesterday. I have never been viral before.
Usually it is six strangers and my mum, so you know, wow and things.
If you’ve subscribed expecting searing political insight on a daily basis, you might want to think again, but hey, if you’re here, you are welcome, mostly.
Given that many of you are new here though, I think I should explain a few things.
My blog is my personal space. I accept that having it out here on the web means that people can read it. That’s fine. Read away. But please be aware that it is not Panorama, or The Telegraph or even The Muppet show.
I do not write for you, regardless of the fact that I might write things that you agree or disagree with, or things that entertain you.
It is not for you. It is for me. I write for me. End of. I am not obliged to be funny, political, serious, short and snappy so you don’t get bored, or inoffensive. I am not obliged to be anything except what I want to be.
I have been absolutely open over the last few days with regard to what comments I publish and have answered everyone, however unpleasant their words, because I think it is important to give everyone a chance.
I am, however, running to the end of my patience with people who just want to shout at me because it makes them feel better. I’m not your whipping boy, and you are boring. So bloody boring.
I genuinely don’t give a rat’s hairy arse if you despise me. I’m absolutely not interested in what you have to say about me. I lose no sleep over your good opinion for the little it’s worth.
Many of the nay sayers with regard to my last two posts keep saying that I don’t get ‘democracy’ and I should ‘suck it up’. Here’s the difference between democracy and dictatorship writ clear for you.
Here, in this corner of the internet, it’s a dictatorship, not a democracy. You are here as my guest. If you are being published, it is because I have chosen to allow you to speak.
If you can keep your manners, even if you don’t agree with me, we can continue to dialogue. If you are abusive, I will respond in kind, however nicely you dress it up in passive aggressive schtick.
I also have a block and report button and I am absolutely going to use it.
Suck it up.
If you send me abusive messages anyway, knowing I will be sorting through who to block so I will have to read what you think, realise I think more highly of my cat than I do you, and she’s a fucking idiot.
Suck it up.
I don’t advertise this blog. I do not monetise it. I don’t force people to read it. It went viral because people wanted to share it, not because I made them.
If you don’t like what I have to say, please why are you here?
I am one, middle aged woman who has been writing a blog about nits and the state of Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina for the past ten years. It’s not World at One. I’m not a parliamentary spokes person. I can’t shape the world. I just state how I feel about things.
If you don’t like it, don’t read it.
It smacks of Mary Whitehouse syndrome. If you don’t like what’s on telly, love, turn it off. You have control over what you consume. If you don’t choose to exercise it, then don’t blame me. I don’t watch Coronation Street because guess what, I don’t like it. I don’t sit around, wasting my time watching it, and then moan about how awful it is and what a waste of my time it was to watch it, because that would just be bloody stupid, wouldn’t it?
Why would you actively do something you don’t like if you had the choice not to do it?
Finally, there’s the; ‘Your swearing shows how ignorant you are, and therefore I cannot entertain your argument,’ the ‘Your swearing shows that everything you say is a lie’ and the ‘Your swearing is boring’. Again with the nobody is holding you at gun point forcing you to read it.
And listen to yourselves. Stephen Fry has a brain the size of a fucking planet and he’s a prolific swearer.
Do you think Stephen Hawking’s string theory would suddenly not be valid if he used the words ‘cock sucker’ in his material? If you do, think about what it says about you, not what it says about me.