Today I am cleaning. It has got to the point when I can stand it no longer. I have a high tolerance for dust, but today is the day when even my easy going demeanour breaks under pressure.
What this means is that I do a bit, sit down, do a bit, eat a biscuit, do a bit, mess around on Twitter etc. Then I look at the time and think ‘shit!’ After that I run round like a loon, and lo, the house is clean…er…ish.
The children have gone back to school. I am somewhat irked by this, as I had only really just got into the swing of the holidays and unclenched enough to really enjoy them. Now they’re back, and it’s early mornings and shrieking about PE kits and money for things I don’t want to buy again.
As is the tradition with all Sundays before the holiday ends, we slept appallingly. The cat has now learned to get in through the bathroom window as well as out. She waits every night until we are in bed, and then crashes through our bedroom like a demented wildebeest. She hurtles into the bathroom, smashes through the blinds and out the window, where she faffs about on the extension roof until finally making good her escape.
We have come to expect this. This is now normal. Jason and I don’t even attempt to go to sleep until the crashing is finished.
Now though, she comes back.
I got up for a pee at three o’clock on Sunday morning only to be shocked into alert horror by her furry form pinging back through the blinds, down the length of the bathroom window ledge, and into the bath. At this point she circled the bath several times, yipping and mewing excitedly (presumably a victory lap for finally having figured out the entrance routine), then sat and shouted at me. I think she was trying to entice me out with her, so that we could both come in via the window.
I did not do it.
Last night she was in and out, up and down, crashing and banging all night long. In between that, Tallulah woke up with a nightmare, Jason shouted in his sleep and one of the children got up at six in the morning and turned all the lights on.
The only thing that could have upset me more was them luring an oompah band into playing on the landing.
After a weekend of decadence and luxury, reality is grimmer than usual.