Politics and biscuits

I went to a socialist meeting. It was my first socialist meeting. I felt very glad that I have read People of the Abyss and The Ragged Trousered Philanthropist. Also that I once got caught up in a poll tax riot by accident, even though I was actually en route to the theatre, and as Tilly tells me, I am really one of the bourgeoisie.

That and the fact that my gran was a big supporter of the miners and had a Neil Kinnock key ring, meant I felt ready for anything socialist meetings might throw at me.

It was in a pub. it was a proper spit and sawdust pub. Whoever painted that ceiling rose urine yellow needs slapping.

I know that remark further confirms my place up against the wall come the revolution. I will be between Kirsty Alsop and Kelly Hoppen in the tasteful crimes against interior decorating bit.

Also, there were no biscuits at the meeting. I note that there were no biscuits at the meeting with our MP last Friday either.

The CCG had biscuits but I didn’t eat any on principle.

I worry now that biscuit loving is a bit fascist.

When I am in charge (just generally, not of the socialists) there will be a lot more biscuits in politics. I will still shun fascism though. I will reclaim biscuits for anarchists, the working class and the bourgeoisie with left leanings.

The fascists can have Garibaldi biscuits (they are already a political statement type of biscuit) and fig rolls, because I hate them.

I have a feeling Donald Trump would like a fig roll.

I’d put Cameron down as a Bath Oliver (chocolate covered) eater.

I’d like to say Corbyn would go for an iced gem, but I suspect he’s more of a Rich Tea type of chap.

Despite biscuitlessnessness and the desecration of ceiling roses (which I don’t think was down to the socialists to be honest. I think the pub landlord got a job lot of cheap paint. I have no idea what this says about his politics) everyone was very nice to me and let me whiffle on about our campaign and blunder about talking about stuff everyone else probably thought of at least a hundred years ago as if I just invented it.

As far as politics go, it is clear that I am still on Farleys Rusks.

One response to “Politics and biscuits

  1. Genius bit of writing! Who knew biscuits were so indicative of your place in society? You’ve got me thinking about the digestive – chocolate or plain? Milk or dark? Help!

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