I am still writing.
It is achingly slow compared to last year. I started rewriting/editing book two just before Christmas, then took a whole load of time off, and have been slowly getting back on track with the discipline of writing ever since.
Like most things I undertake at the moment, it has been hesitant, painful and rather frustrating. The hibernation genes are strong in me, and the minute I sit down, I either tend to nod off completely or go into some kind of stupor which means I might as well be asleep for all the good my eyes being open are doing me.
Chapter one only got finished today. It has been an absolute arsing, gittish, swine to write. I have written it up, down, sideways, back to front and diagonally. I have added thousands of words. I have chopped thousands of words out. I have decided it was finished, put it away for a few days, gone back to it and scoffed at the thought it could ever be finished.
There was one point last week where I decided I was never actually going to finish it at all, and I was in some kind of special, Dantean circle of hell reserved for people who write excessively purple prose.
Today though, I have cracked it. I am delighted. Pressing the page break key was a triumph. I nearly wept.
It is still too long. Everything I write is too long, but it’s too long in a way that is acceptable to me, and that I am happy will be fine to edit later when all three books are finished and I realise that there is so much I can chop out that what was a trilogy suddenly becomes a onergy.
I have already made a start on chapter two, which is more than terrific news, and I am hoping that the blood, sweat and tears that went into starting the book will be sufficient to see me through to the end with not too many more authorly flounces and throwing of all my pens out of the desk drawer etc.
This is a way marker post. It is one of those geeing up exercises meant primarily for me. It is a ‘go team’ thing from me to me. The fact that I have published it and made it public also means though that I cannot now sit on my laurels and pretend my magnum opus is all but done. I cannot give up. If I don’t get back to you in a week or two, somebody pester me for chapter two please.