It was Mumsnet Blogfest yesterday.
You might have heard me mention it once or twice, due to the fact that I was on one of their panels, and was panicking myself to flinders about it.
You will gather from this epistle that I survived it. No flinders were harmed during the course of the day.
Not only did I survive it, I got through it fully clothed, without sweating over people and I did not vomit once. Not once. Although I held myself so rigid all day, what with being on my best behaviour and all, that I woke up this morning thinking I had dislocated my entire body in the night and reassembled it with a bag of spanners.
For those of you asking so nicely. Here is the frock (with me in it):
The weather was foul when I got up and I nearly didn’t wear it.
Luckily, Liberty London Girl talked sense into me and I did a last minute change, which I will be forever grateful to her for, because Esther Freud told me that she loved my dress. That was quite honestly, the highlight of my day. I felt like a goddess for about 30 seconds and I will dine out on it for the next 30 years.
I may even get a t-shirt made: ‘Don’t judge me. Esther Freud loved my dress.’
I should like to travel back in time to back to secondary school, where I had terrifyingly awful blue National Health glasses held together with fuse wire, hair cut with a knife and fork, jumble sale clothes and permanently grazed knees, for which I was teased day in, day out.
I should like to run round the playground showing the bullies this post and shout: ‘Bugger off! Just bugger right off!’ Then I would weep with joy, console my small self that it will work out alright in the end, and that even though it drives her mad when mum says it, patience really is a virtue.
Also, I will tell her, I did not have to wait to get my reward in heaven, it came at Mumsnet Blogfest 2015, so you know, hang on a bit and all that. The world is not so terrible.
I will blog properly about the whole day in my next post, but shallow though it is, I needed my frock (and it is a frock, not a dress) to have an entire post of its own. It worked hard for me. I owe it.
Were the day to have required me to do an acceptance speech – ‘Award for blogger who did not vomit over anyone once’ goes to KatyBoo. etc I should have thanked my dress, Sasha and Esther in that order.
Which I do.