Equal Pay Day

Yesterday was Equal Pay Day.

Equal Pay Day marks the day in the year when, thanks to the gender pay gap, women in the UK workplace basically stop earning where men carry on until the end of the year.

The current gender pay gap is averaged across the board. It is estimated that for every £1 a man earns, a woman earns about 86p. This has gone up in recent years from about 77p. Apparently this is one of the reasons we should not moan about the fact that there is still a gap. It is less of a gap than it was, and surely to goodness that will do?

What’s a dwindling gap between friends?

Quite a lot actually if I don’t get paid from November 9th to December 31st, thanks very much.

I would put my pen down in protest, except nobody pays me to write anyway, so you’ve got me for the rest of the year. Sorry about that.

I am sure that makes me hypocritical and unqualified to write about such matters, before any Daily Mail readers start honing the comments section. I don’t care.

There were a lot of articles in the paper yesterday about the gender pay gap. I read a few of them. Many of them were heavy with comments about how it was time women stopped whining about this stuff.  I like the adjectives they used, ‘moaning’, ‘whinging’, ‘whining’ and ‘banging on’ were common. I suspect that men do not get accused of whining about the unfairness of their pay packet, should they have these problems. I am sure in their case they are just ‘stating the facts’ and ‘being reasonable’ and ‘letting the numbers speak for themselves.’

I am also sure that they don’t get told to shut up because it’s boring for us to listen to.

It’s only boring I feel, if men have to listen to it and it makes them feel uncomfortable. Uncomfortable enough that they have to do what they can to shut women up when they present them with well supported arguments that show them in a bad light.

The general consensus in the comments was that the gender pay gap is nonsense.  I make no remarks about how many of these comments might be written by men. I leave that to you to surmise. I have my suspicions. I am sure lots of women are really happy about the fact that some of them earn less than their male counterparts, and are writing in to shut up the ‘feminazis’ in case they are forced to accept more money they don’t want, and wouldn’t know what to do with. They’d probably worry about spending it all on cakes, and give it to their husbands to look after.

That’s almost certainly true.

A lot of this ‘nonsense’ written about the gap was based on evidence that says it only really applies to women over the age of 30, because data shows that women aged 20-30 are paid the same as their male counterparts.

That’s alright then. If it’s only women over the age of 30 who have unequal pay, what are we worrying about? I mean, there are hardly any of them around, and who cares if they take home less money for doing the same job as a man?

They’re so bloody old they’d probably only spend it on Ponds Cold Cream and cat food. Better give the money to the men. They know how to spend it properly. Women can’t be trusted with money. The world has gone to hell in a hand cart since we started giving them rights over their own money. You only have to look at the rise in the number of foreign immigrants to this country and the outbreak of ebola in Sierra Leone to prove that conclusively. I also blame them for Daniel O’ Donnell being on Strictly Come Dancing. It never would have happened if a man was in charge of the money.

Apparently it is also true that the gender pay gap does not cover all women in all jobs, so the whole argument is therefore, ‘patently untrue.’

Again, I am delighted to hear this. It doesn’t matter if you’re a brain surgeon and you get paid less than your male counterpart, as long as you’re a female physiotherapist and you get the same pay as a male physiotherapist? No gap here. Nothing to see.

It’s because, you see, we are comparing one woman’s take home pay against another woman’s take home pay. Why wouldn’t we? All women are basically the same, right? It’s better to compare women against women than women against men after all. Men have penises and women have vaginas and we wouldn’t want to go around mixing all that lot up together by crikey. Who knows what madness would ensue?

See my Daniel O’Donnell point from earlier.

I shudder to think.

Who the hell would want to compare the wages of a male neurosurgeon against the wages of a female neurosurgeon? That would be insane. That would prove that in some cases there is a gender pay gap, and as we know, it is blatantly untrue.  Let’s move along.

The other thing, apparently, is that sometimes, women get paid more than men for doing the same job.

This is outrageous.

Men are frothing about this. Men are outraged that women think that all women should have parity of pay with their male counterparts when we can see where it might lead, where it already has led in some cases. It  might lead to outright unfairness. It has. It ruddy has. Let’s face it, in some cases it has then gone too far and led to some men having to take home less money for doing the same job as women.

Fucking disgusting, frankly. How could a man be expected to put up with that sort of thing? It smacks of favouritism.

Has anyone informed Daniel O’Donell about this? I bet he’d be off Strictly in a trice if he knew. He’d stand with his brothers in solidarity on this issue.

If I were a man I certainly wouldn’t have waited to level up since 1975, like the women who are still waiting for it to happen, despite it having been written into the statute books forty years ago.

If I were that poor man, knowing that my female co-worker was taking home more money than me every month for doing the same job, I know I couldn’t wait patiently for David Cameron to pull his finger out, even though he has promised women that they can honestly and promisedly expect the law to be enforced properly within a generation.

I mean, what’s a generation between friends?

What do you mean, ‘You’ll probably be dead by then, Katy?’

The bloody cheek.

Someone should write an article about it.

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