Today’s plans have turned to soup before my very eyes dear ones.

It was all very sudden . As it is, I was up at six thirty and had already done the laundry, the dishwasher, breakfast and packed lunches and put beef stew in the slow cooker while listening to Oscar read, all before leaving the house at 7.45 a.m, only to find I could have left most of that for later.

This has left me with the whole of the day to myself.  I could write more of my book, but I did my word count yesterday thinking I wouldn’t be here, and as my period has started, it is raining and someone has mightily pissed me off this morning (not the person who I was meant to be going to London with), I think I might just spend all day wrapped around a hot water bottle eating banana bread and mucking around instead.

I know that if I were a perfect parent and top notch resident of humanity I would, of course, be using this time to hand weave bran muffins and hoover the stair carpet, but really? Life is too bloody short for that type of shenanigans, and I hate bran muffins.

I am exceptionally grumpy today though, so you know, my thoughts on bran muffins might change later on when I am more mellow (this is patently untrue. They are fucking awful). My militancy about stair carpets is not even a tiny bit negotiable. Here are some other things I am grumpy about:

Everyone who voted for David Cameron. I mean, really? Dead pig head fucking notwithstanding, it is common knowledge the man is a gigantic weasel shaped knob head to mix all the metaphors. In the last two weeks I have seen articles in my local newspapers about the closures of more local libraries, and then criticism of local residents for not being civic minded enough to run them all voluntarily for free.

I have seen that our main city fire station is under threat of closure, and the one in the town I used to live in is going to lose one of its fire engines.

I woke up yesterday to read in the National newspapers that George Osborne is thinking of taking away free school dinners for early years children despite having introduced it for all children in KS1 schooling as part of the face of the caring Conservative party in time for an election, and forcing schools to run around hiring new kitchen staff etc. That’s now likely to go, and I know he said ‘thinking’ but you don’t announce something as patently unpopular as that if it’s just an idea, do you?

The government are also going to take A-level creative writing off the national curriculum in favour of I don’t know, learning to be a fucking hedge fund manager, because that will be all round better for humanity won’t it?

Speaking of which:

This morning I read about the charming Martin Shkreli, an entrepreneur who bought the rights to a cheap drug that treats those with toxoplasmosis. It had previously been a dollar a tablet. When he bought it it was $13.50. He has now put the price up to $750 per pill. That’s fifty times more than it was worth. Fifty.

Toxoplasmosis, for those of you who don’t know, is relatively harmless in most of the population. You can get it from tomatoes (which is why French Drs are apparently anti tomato eating in pregnancy, although absolutely fine with quaffing claret), and cat poo. Do not ask. I have no idea. Anyway, it only really affects the most vulnerable members of society, babies, the elderly, those already sick, and those with compromised immune systems. It is particularly good at wiping out people with HIV and AIDS. The drug is simple to administer, effective, and has been, up to this point, a life line because it has been so cheap.

That is no longer the case.

He has argued that his company have a right to make a profit. I am not naive enough to think that drug companies exist for the benefit of the ill. I worked for one once. I know exactly how they work, and exactly how capitalism works too. I don’t deny that people should be able to make a profit in business, but how much money do they need to make? How much is enough? How much satiates the greed? He claims that the profit will go into researching other drugs that will save many more lives. It may be partly true, but you can bet your boots they’re not going to be cheap either, and in the meantime, we know how much a life is worth, and it seems his life is worth so much more than everyone else’s.

I am grumpy about UKIP’s new survey which they are touting around all and sundry at the moment. It asks you: ‘Do you agree that the UK should leave the EU and trade with the world?’ You get two boxes to choose from. You tick one. You can either tick: ‘YES’ or ‘UNDECIDED’. How convenient for them that they have forgotten to put in a ‘NO’ button. This will circulate among their deranged followers, and when enough of them have filled it in, it will legitimately allow them to publish papers that say: ‘120% of those who took part in our poll feel that we should leave the EU. FACT.’ Numbers never lie, do they?

The main thing I am grumpy about today? I am grumpy about people who do not do their jobs properly. I volunteer in school. I look after the school library. Even though I only volunteer I take my job seriously. I go to school and I look after the library. I do not spend my time eating biscuits and staring out the window and getting kudos for looking after the library because I once put a book on a shelf in 1978 and I’ve read a Jacqueline Wilson novel so I’m down with the kids. If I do my job, other people should have to do theirs. Even if it is voluntary. Especially if it is voluntary. You don’t have to do it. You could let/ask someone else to do it. You must be doing it for some reason, so do your fucking job.

This is not about school by the way. I am just using it as an example. I am not usually the sort of person who writes oblique blog posts, I know. Forgive me for indulging myself just this once.

I hate that people resent being asked to do things when the things you are asking them to do are their responsibility. I have been at the sticky end of a relationship like this for a few months now, and this week’s series of exchanges has infuriated me beyond measure. It is not a situation I can walk away from, or I would. It is also a situation that involves me having to be diplomatic, or believe me, I would have resolved this much, much sooner.

I have worked very hard to maintain my cool, keep dialogue flowing and try to find a way to make things work. I have been faced with the person I am dealing with thinking that somehow this makes me both stupid, and a soft touch because they are too stupid themselves to figure out that politeness is not a weakness, and just because I have not chosen to act on things doesn’t mean I don’t know exactly what is going on.

I have been met with that person banking on the fact that I will put up with their poor behaviour and failure to do their job because I am in a position where if I don’t, I will hurt someone I love. Up until today they thought they had me cornered, and then they allowed themselves to be caught out twice, in print, and I also found out that they had hurt the person that I loved who I was treading so carefully for.

This came to light today. Partly this has made me happy, because I have been able to use the moment to make it very clear to that person that this is where their particular brand of worthless self aggrandisement stops, but it has also pissed me off, because if they had just done the job they were asked to do in the first place, none of this would have happened and we would all have been a lot happier.

Also, nobody should ever make someone I love unhappy, OK? I will literally break you in that instance. You do not have a dig at me through the people I love. What kind of cowardice is that? It is despicable behaviour, and I have made it absolutely clear to the person involved that it is intolerable. How they can look themselves in the mirror I do not know.

As it is, I hope that this is the end of the matter, but I have a feeling that the person in question may feel that the issue has a little more life in it that they can milk to get whatever kick they require out of passing the buck and trying to make other people look ungracious and stupid, when in fact it just serves to cast them in an unflattering light.

It’s a horrible day. I’m going to eat more banana bread and worry about the kitchen ceiling collapsing because of the rain.

3 responses to “GROWLING IN THE DEEP

  1. Have a slice of banana bread for me. (I said that just to let you know that somebody’s listening.)


  3. Available at any time lovely for kneecapping duties xxx

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