Today’s shock news has been the fact that Tom Jones will not be coming back to the BBC for season five of their talent show The Voice.
Tallulah is outraged.
Tallulah venerates Tom in a special way. She doesn’t fangirl him like she does Taylor Swift, oh no. Tom is too old for that kind of nonsense now. I did try to explain to her that back in the day, Tom was exactly the sort of person people fan girled over and he has 9000 pairs of ladies pants to prove it. She wrinkled her brow in disgust and refused to speak of it any more.
Tom, you see, as far as Tallulah is concerned anyway, is The King Of The Welsh. He is power and might, and can probably do smiting.
Except when the BBC smite him.
She has written them a stiff letter.
I’m sorry if you can’t read it terribly well. I will transcribe:
You know who I mean…T.J.
THE VOICE WILL BE NOTHING WITHOUT TOM JONES
FROM: TALLULAH WHEATLEY
HAIR: SPIKY (MAYBE)
I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE…
This is accompanied by a picture of ‘Stabby the unicorn’ bearing the legend: ‘Stabby, he also knows where you live…’
Here is the back of the envelope:
#Bring back Tom Jones
#King of the Welsh
#The Voice is nothing without TJ
#Well done for ruining my life
Plus her disgusted face to top it all off.
Can’t say fairer than that really.