Last night I nipped to Sainsburys with the children. I prefer going there in the evening, particularly on a Friday. Most other people are in the pub or having a social life, so the aisles are nice and empty and it means I can avoid trolley rage.
I needed to buy a present for a friend of Oscar’s who is having a birthday party this weekend. I also needed to buy pork ribs, because one of the recipes I want to test in the next few days is the Chinese pork ribs from Jamie Oliver’s Comfort Food. I figured I could get them in Sainsburys. It’s not an uncommon cut of meat.
The shelves were very bare in the meat aisles, so no luck there. I decided to go to the actual butcher’s counter.
They didn’t have much on display at that time of night, but there was a man in a butcher’s apron and a very fetching hair net behind the counter who seemed eager to help me.
I asked him if he had any pork ribs. He looked at me completely blankly.
I said it again.
He pointed at a bit of pork belly. He said: ‘Like this?’
I said: ‘No. That’s pork belly. I need pork RIBS.’
He pointed at a crown of lamb. He said: ‘Like this?’
I said: ‘Well. Those are ribs, but that’s crown of lamb, so, no. I want pork ribs.’
He looked back and forth between the belly pork and the crown of lamb for a bit. Then he looked up and smiled. I thought. Yay! We’re getting somewhere. He waved his hand between the two bits of meat and said: ‘Like these, only round?’
My heart sank.
I smiled and said: ‘No. Not really. Like PORK RIBS.’
He shrugged and said: ‘I’ve never heard of them. I’ve never seen anything like that in here. Sorry.’
I think he was probably seconded from the bakery department. I hope so, because if he’s a qualified butcher then I am pretty sure that the zombie apocalypse is only a matter of weeks away.