So far, today has been one of those days.
Oscar forgot his gloves on the way to school, and small drama queen type person that he is, half way through the ten minute walk he dropped his scooter onto the floor, folded over in the middle, his face creased in agony and said: ‘I can’t go on. My hands are so cold and I am frozen solid.’
I have let him borrow my fingerless lilac gloves with mother of pearl buttons. He looks a duck.
He has woodland studies this afternoon, in which he will get dressed in his scruffiest clothes and hare about the woods, returning to me drenched in bog and mud and all sorts of other unsavoury things.
I fear for my gloves.
In fact, I KNOW they will be fit only for the bin, so one pair of gloves down by nine this morning.
I returned home ready to cook an amazing sounding curry from the Jamie Oliver book, and realised I didn’t have all the ingredients I needed. I was determined to cook it, and not knowing the recipe well enough to substitute I trotted dutifully out to the local shops with a list.
Despite the list, I went into the same shop three times, having forgotten things that I had carefully read, and then deleted out of my mind with gay abandon. A ten minute trip took an hour.
I got back, started assembling my ingredients and realised I hadn’t got enough quantities of some things. Oliver cooks large. I thought I cooked large, but if you’re looking to feed a small army, Oliver is your man.
I got in the car, drove to the local Tesco and finished my shopping.
I got home, and set about my cooking. I needed unsalted peanuts. I had some in a drawer where I keep baking stuff. I opened the drawer only to find that a tin of golden syrup had tipped itself all over the bottom of the drawer and everything in the drawer was now welded together in an unwieldy mass.
Forty minutes later I had a sparkly clean drawer, and no curry.
I started again. I grated my thumb when extracting lime rind from a lime, and added human blood to the ingredients.
I burned the spices twice, and slightly singed the peanuts once.
I finally put the curry into the slow cooker ten minutes ago. It is one o’clock in the afternoon and I started the process at 9.30 this morning.
Foolishly, I am now going to attempt to make some bread. At the current rate of progress it will probably take me until midnight.