There are times when you realise that it is perfectly idiotic to go against the flow.
You may recall that yesterday I decided that we should go for a brisk constitutional, because even I was reaching tilt was far as food was concerned.
We did indeed go for a walk, a very, very short one, in the bracing cold, which led us to a local tapas bar which opens on Saturdays and Sundays for all day brunch/breakfasts. We had never tried it before, but after 500 yards of exercise it was decided that we were all a tad peckish. So we went for brunch.
Very nice it was too, just in case you happen to be passing Dos Hermanos on Queen’s Road in Leicester on a weekend. I had the bubble and squeak with beans, a side of butter fried mushrooms and some pickled beetroot. Eclectic, but it worked.
After brunch, we walked to the edge of the park, stared in horror at dog walkers and lunatics out jogging, and came home.
This morning I had to get up early, due to the fact that I had an emergency appointment at Vision Express for them to see if either a) I am going blind or b) my contact lenses are knackered or c) both.
I breakfasted before leaving, in case I fainted on the optician.
I am good like that.
It transpires that my lenses are knackered. One is split in two places. Both are scratched to buggery. One is smudgy with ‘stuff’. I am very lucky I have not done any damage to my corneas. Go me!
I am less lucky in that the insurance I took out on my lenses ran out in April.
I have old fashioned, gas permeable lenses which are better for my astigmatism (I am making myself sound so attractive here, I know), so they have to be sent off for, and because of New Year, it will be a week before I can pick them up.
After this joyous news, and a bill for £200, I repaired to do a little consumer therapy. After all, having just blown through £200 in half an hour it seems churlish not to embrace the spirit of spending.
As per usual I managed to find nothing in the sales I was remotely interested in, apart from two balls of wool in the John Lewis bargain bin, rooted out as I galloped back to the car.
I did manage to spend my Christmas vouchers in Waterstones (on non reduced books), buy two books in a charity shop, and a very nice cardigan and an even nicer hat, both of which I will be modelling on New Year’s Eve.
You would think I would be a wow at sales, but I’m not. They never, ever discount the things I want to buy, like the turquoise velvet shoes on the Boden website, which are not only not properly discounted, but also out of stock. The Orla Kiely shoes I got for Christmas are available in the other colour way I want, but only in a size 3 or a size 7.5. I give up.
I am also not remotely tempted to buy things I never wanted in the first place more cheaply in January.
I came home only to find that I was absolutely starving, even though it was only 11.00 a.m.
I have therefore decided that I am destined to eat, and eat, and eat, and keep eating, and it matters not whether I stay at home and sloth about and eat, or go out and work up an appetite after one snootful of fresh air and eat. If I do that I just eat more.
I must accept my fate.
Maybe I can buy an extra wide sofa in the DFS sale, and win at Sales too?