Every year I used to do a Christmas List on this blog. I skipped over the whole world peace, please let Nigel Farage get eaten by a velociraptor, curing cancer, free sweets for all, stuff.
It isn’t that I don’t want those things. I do. Especially the Nigel Farage bit.
But, I am a mercenary creature, driven by unpredictable whims, raging greed, and a hoarding bug so violent that my husband tries to stop me watching Antiques Roadshow because it just ‘encourages you to fill the house with more ruddy crap. And you still haven’t found a bloody Faberge Egg.’
I still haven’t been given an Alexander McQueen frock, an original Sam Taylor-Wood, a Grayson Perry pot, or a bag of emeralds. They remain on the list, but this year I think we should move on to other, equally unattainable items of my dreams.
I’d love a tartan, corseted dress by Vivienne Westwood. This one is nice. I watched a programme earlier in the year about Westwood, and my respect for her skill has gone up by about 1000% and I loved her before that.
Yohji Yamamato love remains undimmed in my heart. I can’t decide which pieces I love most. I’d really just like to try everything on please.
Top of my list is a Tracey Emin quilt.
I’d love one of these Typewriter Part Birds by Jeremy Meyer. Steampunk is delighting me. I know I’m years late to the party. I don’t care.
This print by Simon Palmer called The Signalman and the Guard. I love Simon Palmer’s work. I think it’s unearthly beautiful.
This tiara by Geoffrey Munn would be fantastic. I am becoming increasingly interested in crowns. Nobody say anything about my current psychological state. NOBODY.
A pair of Chie Mihara shoes. I was going to pick one pair, but there are so many on here I like it is impossible.
A Stig Lindberg horse. Like this one. Please.
A piece by Angela Mellor.
This copper bath. I would also like someone to come round and clean and polish it on a regular basis. Thank you. Kind regards.
This light, created by Thyra Hilden and Pio Diaz.
What’s on your unattainable Christmas list this year?