My Son Negotiates His Birthday List

First, and crucially, there will be no Great British Bake Off blog from me this evening. Not because of my crochet class, but because I am off to help Andrea’s mum celebrate her birthday by eating a lot of food and going to see Love’s Labours Lost at the RSC in Stratford. I will not be home until the wee small hours, and my dedication to Mary Berry, enormous though it is, is not up to staying up until three in the morning just to catch up.

Besides, if I did that, the children would kill me.

So, there will be blogging about it, but not until Thursday night after the parent’s evening of doom.

Something to keep me going.

In the meantime I thought I would share my son’s birthday wish list with you.

He will be eight in a few weeks, and I have been asking him for quite some time to jot his thoughts about presents down somewhere. I know the kind of things he likes, but the vast array of items he tells me he wants is rather overwhelming and tends to change radically from week to week. I need documentation, even if it is only for when when he says: ‘I never asked for this’, and I can flourish the list at him and shout: ‘Aha! Take that!’

Tallulah and Tilly have both grown out of the lists as long as toilet rolls can stretch when unravelled thing. Oscar has some way to go on this front. His list, when he brought it, was an entire page of densely scrawled pen, doubled up on some lines.

He then came in with an extension to the first list.

He handed it to me, blushed, shuffled his feet, looked at the floor and said: ‘I know I can’t have everything mama. In fact, I think some of the things I asked for don’t exist (I am used to this. See the year that Tilly asked for a real wand so that she could really fly.), but I thought I’d give you a lot to go on.

He certainly did that.

Here, for your delectation and delight, is his list, complete with original Oscar spellings and annotations by me.

Oscar’s List

Tron costume (the Eighties Sci Fi film starring Jeff Bridges, when he got sucked into a computer and had a neon adventure. One of Oscar and Jason’s favourite films. Tron costumes only exist for adults. They are about £50 each it transpires)

Tron gloves (fictional item)

Tron biker’s helmet (fictional item)

Tron shouses (I think this means shoes. As he is being completist with the outfit I am pretty sure. It matters not. They don’t exist)

Tron light disc (I believe these are available. Again about £40 each)

Painted Tron scooter (fictional – but as Oscar says. It would be very cool if it did exist)

Pokemon Poke balls (I think these are real)

Pokemon plastic figreens (I love the word figreen)

Pokemon x 2 DS game.

2DS (he already has a DS and a 3D DS – hell will freeze over before he gets another)

Son of Neptune seedees (Rick Riordan audio book. We might even be able to get this. Whoo!)

Pokemon oldio books (I think this means audio. I need to check in case it is some kind of obscure Japanese, manga inspired item)

Picatue Teddy (I believe this is Pikachu: the cutesy Pokemon which all of my children in turn have been obsessed with and which looks like a yellow paper bag with twists at the corners. Possibly full of grapes. Annoying squeaky voiced, yellow paper bag)

Muppets Most Wanted DVD (Yay! Something I understand that is spelled correctly and that I don’t have to send off to the wilds of Borneo to get.)

Xbox games

3D DS games

Someone to help me find my 3D DS – I don’t know where it is (Grrr! Argh! this was kept quiet until this point. Note to self. Try not to murder son over his birthday list)

Astrosaurs books

Music seedees (I hope he is over his Alvin and the Chipmunks phase and too young for a Slayer phase. We will find out).

Simpsons comic books.

Minecraft on computer.

adio cdees and books (interesting how he clearly knows he isn’t spelling audio and CD’s right and keeps having a crack at it)

Sine me up for Lego comics.

Binweevils membership card (over my cold dead body)

Moshi Monsters membership card (see above brackets – was haunted by these two games for about three years. It’s bad enough that the Minecraft obsession is not abating).


Pokemon trainer clothes and hat from Indigo Leag – Look at the picture if you don’t know what it looks like (Oscar has finally realised my limitations, bless him. Although the outfit is something else that exists in his fertile imagination. I suspect I might be able to scrape up a hat from somewhere)

So, as you can see, there is enough here to keep me going for several birthday/christmases. Possibly until he is at least forty.

Grasping little consumer that he is.

Having said that, the most favourite and my best thing in his list, and the thing that made my heart swell with pride was this item.

Sleep over at Luke’s house for three days, or one. Just a sleep over.

Luke is Oscar’s best friend who he left behind when he moved schools at the end of the year. Oscar and Luke miss each other terribly. They are currently passing messages through granny who is still at the school and is acting as their go-between.

I love the fact that Oscar is scaling down his chances as he writes. Trying to figure out what is most likely to be granted.

If nothing else on the list happens, the sleepover WILL happen, and you know what? He would be perfectly happy with that.

Even without Tron shouses.

4 responses to “My Son Negotiates His Birthday List

  1. Could you get a black scooter and stick some reflective strips and LED gubbins bits on it? That would be totally Tron-ish AND you’d get extra cool points for creating something that doesn’t actually exist.

  2. “Someone to help me find my 3D DS” is the best birthday list item EVER! Very clever Oscar.

    Also, I can’t belive Pokemon is still popular. My brother collected the Pokemon cards and he’ll be 24 next month!

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