Oscar was much calmer yesterday. As he was back at HIS school this was to be expected. It did mean however, that we could use the calmness to talk about his new school in a more rational, less emotionally charged way.
The new school called me and have very kindly arranged for Oscar to go and spend some time with them again next Wednesday so that he can, hopefully, have a more positive experience and be less daunted by the whole thing. I am so grateful that they have gone the extra mile for me. It’s really the last thing you need in the last week of the academic year, but they are bending over backwards to make him feel welcome.
He wasn’t thrilled at the news that he was going back so soon, but we talked it through and tried to make it as positive a thing as we could for him.
I dearly want him to at the very least, approach it in a calm manner, so that he can give it more of a chance. I know how hard it is to take things in when you are in a blind panic. People talk to you, but what they’re saying doesn’t really register, and information skates off the surface of your mind before you’ve had a chance to take it in properly. I suspect that yesterday was more of an internal battle to try and keep himself as together as possible, rather than anything meaningful to do with trying to make sense of what was happening externally.
Apparently, as he was crying yesterday, he kept apologising to his teacher for not being braver, and messing up his first day. Bless him.
We have discussed this, and I have suggested that it might be a nice idea this time, not to frighten everyone silly by bursting into tears (including himself), and see if he can be incredibly brave. He nodded wanly.
Then we discussed bribery.
I am not averse to a little bribery in times of dire need. Carrots works as well, if not better, than sticks, a lot of the time, and Oscar is very partial to carrots.
I have promised him that if he is spectacularly good when he goes to spend the morning at school, and this is corroborated by reliable witnesses when I go to pick him up, that I will take him out to a restaurant of his choosing for his lunch. It has been made clear that small boys being in charge of lunch arrangements is an incredibly grown up thing to do, and must be earned with the appropriate grown up behaviour.
Like his mother, food is close to his heart, and this news made him sit up, put marrow in his bones and sparkles in his eye. He is mulling over which establishment will receive his patronage.
I am just praying that a) the bribery works, and b) he doesn’t pick McDonalds.