We were supposed to be getting a visit from a door restoring chap on Friday afternoon.
He forgot to come.
This does not surprise me. This is pretty standard for workmen. I would give bonuses to workmen of any ilk who turned up on time for stuff, or even turned up at all.
On Saturday we did get a visit from a carpenter who specialises in doors. Top marks to him for coming. I didn’t mention the bonus thing when he arrived. I thought Jason might batter me if I did.
The guy on Friday was going to quote to restore our Thirties front door. The guy on Saturday is going to quote for giving us a new front door entirely, and possibly bi fold doors where we currently have French windows.
This is going to cause domestic tension people. I have a feeling this may shape up to be the garden design debate all over again. God help me.
I have very clear ideas with regard to what I like in terms of design. Jason does not.
You would think this would make it easy for us. Sadly it doesn’t, because Jason, instead of knowing what he likes in terms of design, simply holds ‘very strong views’ about certain things over which he will not be budged unless we fight solidly for several aeons, and even then it’s a bit touch and go.
It took months of anguish for me to get him to give up the idea of acres of manicured lawn in the back garden, despite the fact that he pathologically hates mowing and none of us really give two hoots about grass. He has the ‘very strong view’ that a garden must have grass in it to qualify as a garden.
We do, by the way, have grass in our garden, a very small patch by the shed which nobody ever uses and some nocturnal animal has tried to dig up. It is there because he insisted that we have some grass. The first time he had to mow it, he complained, and I threatened to concrete it over while he was away in Germany. We have not discussed the grass since.
It is easier to talk to him about design if you have pictures to show him, which is where Pinterest comes in very handy.
Our front door is actually double arched doors, so whatever we replace them with will also have to be arched unless we do building work as well. I am happy with arched doors, so I have made a Pinterest board full of different arched doors. Jason is working at home today, so during his lunch break he came to look at the doors. We both agreed there were spectacular doors available. I became cautiously optimistic that we might actually find something we both liked. My only concern at this point was whether we could afford it when we found it.
Then it transpires that he wants a lot of glass in the door. I understand this, because the hallway is very long, and without a certain amount of light through the front door, it will make the hall look very gloomy.
The problem is that he doesn’t want people to see through the door, because they might see all the bags of tortoise substrate, and the fake latex swords we keep in the porch and want to rob us blind. He suggested frosted glass. The bobbly stuff.
I do not want frosted glass. The bobbly stuff. I hate frosted glass (the bobbly stuff). I can tolerate it in small patches, but in giant expanses it is unacceptable.
I suggested we have regular, toughened glass with wrought iron curlicues in an Art Nouveau style, which would still allow the light through, but also mean that people were less likely to be able to check out the bags of recycling waiting to go to the tip and the odd, stray wellingtons in the hall.
This will not do apparently.
We discussed it further. It is very simple, he says. I can have whatever I want (he says this when he has no idea of price. I have a rough idea of price. I will never get what I want), but he has a ‘very strong view’ about frosted glass, and how much of it we should have. Other than that he has no opinions about the design at all, and pretty much, as long as it’s an arched door, I can have what I want.
So what that actually means is that I have to have an arched door which is at least 50 to 75% glass.
Which is not really what I want at all.
This needs some work.
I am thinking that there are two options here.
One is to look at other kinds of opaque glass and find something that doesn’t look like we live in a 1970’s snooker hall.
The other is to simply have the door we already have renovated given that it’s already there, and although it has frosted, ripple glass in it, I’ve learned to live with it.
There is, of course, a third option, which is divorce.
We have not spoken about this yet. But we may do, when it comes to looking at the bi fold doors.