Today was good because nobody ran into the back of my car.
Today was good because I saw a friend I haven’t seen for a long, long time and ate a lot of food with her.
So that’s nice.
Now I’ve been positive I want to have a small, self indulgent whinge, and then I’m going to drink a cup of tea, have a bath and close my eyes on everything.
Today I spent some of the day on the phone to the insurance company. This is always pants.
Today I went to the garage so they could take pictures of all the dents in my car. They then send these photos to the insurance company, so you can bet your bottom dollar I will be on the phone to them for some time tomorrow as well. I cannot wait.
Today I got a phone call from the insurance company of the man who ran into me. They made it sound like they needed to ascertain details of the accident, but then it transpired they were trying to aggressively sell me car hire for when my car has to go into the garage so they can claw back some of what their client has lost them. I was outraged by this. I am outraged by this. I am so outraged I am thinking of writing a letter to their governing body. I was very brusque with the woman on the phone. She was not happy. Nor was I.
Today I spent half an hour trying to access the World Snooker Championships website to get my brother some tickets only to have the website crash, and then be cut off five times trying to ring the ticket order line. I still don’t have tickets. Sorry Uncle Robber.
Today I spent half an hour on hold to the City Council education department, trying to find out when they intended to let me know if Oscar has a place at his new school (next week apparently, maybe might be).
Today my credit card got declined in a shop, despite the fact that I paid a huge chunk of it last week. It brought me out in a cold sweat thinking someone might have hacked my account over the bank holiday weekend while I was too busy holding Tallulah’s hair over a plastic bucket to notice what my finances were doing.
Today I spent twenty minutes on hold to the bank only to find out that it was the card reader at fault and my card is fine. This is excellent news, but I did lose half a stone from stress related anxiety whilst on the phone establishing this excellent news.
Today my husband got up at three in the morning and then flew back to Germany. I am sad about this. I hardly saw him this weekend, and when I did I was dealing with car crashes and financial crashes and was not my sparkling debonair self. Pooh.
Today I dealt with some of the more persistent EBay wankers. There is at least one or two a week. The ones this week are not even entertaining, just rude. Which is never acceptable in my book.
Today I spent time in the Post Office being grumbled at by pensioners.
Pensioners, this is what I say to you.
You do not have to queue for your pension the minute the sun comes up on the first day your pension is available to you. There are many hours in this day you could queue if that is what you desire to do. You are pensioners. You do not work. You can go whenever you like. If you see someone in the queue in front of you with lots of parcels, think about going away and spending some of the precious moments you have left not queueing in the Post Office and grumbling.
You do not have to queue for your pension at all. You can have it put directly into your bank account. Why the hell wouldn’t you?
Please do not delude yourself that the once a week you spend queueing for your pension in a Post Office is enough to keep your post office open. Post Offices, like libraries, are shutting all over the country. If people like me do not use the Post Office there will be no Post Office.
P.S. Grow up and stop acting like spoiled, fractious children. I don’t care how old you are, how many world wars you fought in, or indeed who you are. Manners are free, and you are not exempt because you are closer to death than the rest of us.
So bloody there.
Right now in my life it feels a lot of the time like I am enduring things. I am enduring all sorts of things that people keep telling me are good for me, and that are making me grow, and making me realise how strong I am, and showing me what a brilliant person I am, and aren’t I lucky to be enlightened enough to be able to embrace this wisdom that is coming at me like bullets from an AK47? Gosh, what people wouldn’t give to be in my position and know that once they have come through all this there will be gold at the end of the rainbow and Jason will turn out to be my lucky charms leprechaun etc, etc.
You are all right. All of you, even my husband, who I sincerely hope is not going to turn out to be a leprechaun, although the gold would be handy.
I will be a better, stronger, faster, kinder person with added sprinkles and wisdomosity as Georgia Nicholson would say.
Today I don’t care. Today I have had enough. Today I just want to have a massive tantrum and lie on the floor and drum my heels and shout ‘WAAAAAAAAHHHHHH’
So I have.
Tomorrow I will regroup my gravel, rake my Zen garden and stroke my wise, Confucius like beard.