Regular readers may know that here at Boo Towers, we have been wrangling over what to do with our so called ‘garden’, since February when we moved in.
First, we ignored it.
Then we mowed it a bit, and moved four trillion acres of abandoned crap that the last owner had thoughtfully left for us to dispose of due to indolence and unspeakable rudeness on his part.
Then we shouted, argued, waved our hands in the air and had several heated debates over what it should look like.
We interviewed various garden design companies, who were no use at all – ranging from people who looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language when I told them what we wanted, in a singular failure to understand that not everyone in the world craves a nice conservatory with a patio and a shed, to people who wanted to charge me £400 for a sketch.
We employed a friend of ours for a while, until circumstances forced us to remember that one rarely keeps friends if you employ them – and we should back out now while everyone was still speaking to each other.
Then there was a long period of idleness where we elected to pretend we didn’t have a garden, because frankly the whole thing was just a giant argument waiting to happen.
If anyone asked us about the garden we said that it was ‘a work in progress’, and rapidly changed the subject.
My Pinterest board grew fatter by the day.
Eventually we decided we must seize the bull by the horns, or the shrubbery by the thorns – and created a design that was not enough of a compromise to drive us mad with despair every time we looked at it and realised what we had sacrificed, but both of us could live with.
Then we found a garden design company we liked, that didn’t try to sell us a UPVC conservatory and didn’t want to charge us a thousand pounds for a picture they’d drawn on the back of a napkin in 1974.
And they didn’t laugh at our design.
We have been negotiating with them for the last few weeks, and ‘fingers crossed’, we are about to seal the deal.
This means we might possibly have a garden by Christmas.
It will not have any plants in.
But it will be a garden.