We are nearly ready for the off.
We do not like things to be too relaxed, so we have packed this morning.
I do not believe in advanced packing. It just prolongs the trauma.
As it is, Oscar and I have had heated discussions about socks this morning. I really don’t care too much about socks in the grand scheme of things, but his random sock assortment which he had proudly put aside for packing included an odd number of odd socks, some of which he seems to have been squirrelling away since he was about 18 months old, and which will cut his circulation off if he actually attempts to wear them.
He has a secret sock drawer.
I have decided. I will find it when he has gone back to school, and burn all the contents.
Then Tallulah had a melt down because we had to move her chest of drawers to allow the plasterer to gain access to the area of wall in her bedroom that needed plastering. Apparently this is terrible and awful, and possibly life threatening, and involved a great deal of sighing, some tempestuous tears and the beginning of a tantrum, which quickly got nipped in the bud.
Yes, you did hear me right. I did mention plastering in that last paragraph. Why? Because we have also chosen today to have the plasterer round to finish off all the walls. Why wait until a more convenient time?
There is never a more convenient time.
The bags are now packed. The plasterer is gone. The children are still alive and I am distracting the questions of ‘Is it time to go yet? Are we ready to go yet?’ by giving in to their incessant demand to play Minecraft.
Oscar now leaves notes round the house in handy places, where he can just sweep one up and wave it at me. They all say:
‘Can I play Mincraft (sic)? Please – Just say YES or NO’
The fridge is empty of stuff that might kill my parents when they come round to tend to Derek.
The bins are empty of things that might turn the air a funny colour and cause involuntary retching.
We are away…