The Twelve Days of Hamster with added commentary by Katy and Nicki -aged ‘should know better than to be mucking about’

Earlier this evening I was sharing with my lucky fellow Tweeters that Oscar had invented a new version of Gangnam Style.  New, with added extra pigs.

It goes:

‘Heeeey, Seexxxyyy Piiiggiiies!

Snort, snort, snort, snort, snort, snort that Gangnam Style!’

It is deeply annoying.

My friend Nicki promptly tweeted that her sons had invented a new version of The Twelve Days of Christmas.

It is The Twelve Days of Hamster.

We have tweeted extensively about this, and it is now stuck in my brain.  I have asked her if I can share it with you, because lord knows, at this time in Christmas week it is time you had something else to annoy the bejeezus out of you that isn’t Bruce Forsyth.

I did watch some Strictly in the last week by the way, for the first time ever.  Who dresses Tess Daly? Do they hate her?

That is all.

Back to hamsters.

Drum roll please…..

On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me, a hamster in a hamster tree. (I am picturing this as a kind of a cross between Yggdrasil and one of those hamster balls you get in Pets At Home)

On the second day of Christmas my true love sent to me, two turtle hamsters (Botticelli and Fra Angelico), and a hamster in a hamster tree.

On the third day of Christmas my true love sent to me, three French hamsters (the French for hamster is, sadly, hamster, although you could sing this as ‘amstair’), two turtle hamsters, and a hamster in a hamster tree.

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love sent to me, four calling hamsters (‘ere, ‘ave you seen this bloody ‘amster tree? It’s flippin’ brilliant! You can get those at Pets at Home you know!’ etc), three French hamsters, two turtle hamsters, and a hamster in a hamster tree.

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love sent to me, FIIIIIIIVE GOOOLLLLD HAMSTERS (no explanation needed. The most perfect line in a song. EVER), four calling hamsters, three French hamsters, two turtle hamsters, and a hamster in a hamster tree.

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love sent to me, six hamsters laying (much discussion here. Laying what? Pipes, carpets, droppings? In the end Nicki won – other hamsters), fiiiiive gooollld hamsters, four calling hamsters, three French hamsters, two turtle hamsters, and a hamster in a hamster tree.

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me, seven hamsters swimming (this could be because they failed to lay adequate piping in the last verse. Too busy shagging), six hamsters laying, fiiiiiive gooollld hamsters, four calling hamsters, three French hamsters, two turtle hamsters and a hamster in a hamster tree.

On the eighth day of Christmas my true love sent to me, eight hamsters milking (again with the discussion.  We decided hamster milk makes a delicious cheese which Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall makes, toasts and eats with relish), seven hamsters swimming, six hamsters laying, fiiiiiiivee goooolllld hamsters, four calling hamsters, three French hamsters, two turtle hamsters and a hamster in a hamster tree.

On the ninth day of Christmas my true love sent to me, nine hamsters dancing (the highland fling), eight hamsters milking, seven hamsters swimming, six hamsters laying, fiiiiive goooooolllld hamsters, four calling hamsters, three French hamsters, two turtle hamsters, and a hamster in a hamster tree.

On the tenth day of Christmas my true love sent to me, ten hamsters leaping (lack of well laid carpets by shagging hamsters leading to more problems here with gripper rod), nine hamsters dancing, eight hamsters milking, seven hamsters swimming, six hamsters laying, fiiiiiiivee gooooolllld hamsters, four calling hamsters, three French hamsters, two turtle hamsters, and a hamster in a hamster tree.

On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me, eleven hamsters piping  (finally get round to laying the pipes.  Swimming hamsters now protesting on the landing wearing goggles and carrying soggy placards about shoddy workmanship), ten hamsters leaping, nine hamsters dancing, eight hamsters milking, seven hamsters swimming, six hamsters laying, fiiiiiiivee gooooolllld hamsters, four calling hamsters, three French hamsters, two turtle hamsters, and a hamster in a hamster tree.

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love sent to me, twelve hamsters drumming (on the door of the shoddy hamster house they are clearly living in.  They are desperate to move in with the badgers, who are well known for being DIY maniacs), eleven hamsters piping, ten hamsters leaping, nine hamsters dancing, eight hamsters milking, seven hamsters swimming, six hamsters laying, fiiiiiiivee gooooolllld hamsters, four calling hamsters, three French hamsters, two turtle hamsters, and a hamster in a hamster tree.

Fin!

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8 responses to “The Twelve Days of Hamster with added commentary by Katy and Nicki -aged ‘should know better than to be mucking about’

  1. Genius! I am still chuckling. And, Yes, as an avid strictly fan Tess’s wardrobe department needs sacking.

  2. Made me chuckle!joels desperate for a hamster.i am stil thinking about it.

  3. Magic! Re day 9: remember you not the hamster dance from few Christmases back? :-)

  4. and pleeeeeeease what is a hamster tree !!! probably very short or they would not be able to climb up into it or do they have a ladder ??

  5. I suspect it is more of a hamster bush! I will try and get the children to draw one next time we do crafting.

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