The Day The Paygwin Came to School – by Oscar

I am giving up my job.

My son can take over the blog.

Oscar has been busy writing a book.  His teacher is very proud of him.

We are insanely proud of him.

I have been allowed to bring it home for one night only so that we can make much of him, and it.

I reproduce it here, for your delectation and delight.

I have kept the spellings like wot he wrote them.

I should like to point out that a paygwin is a penguin before we begin

The Day the Paygwin Came to School – by Oscar aged 6

The day the paygwin came to shcool.  One day a paygwin came to my shcool it lookt at me if it lovd me but I lookt at it light I didn’t now wat it was doing here.  At lunch time I shaird my lunch. I brang some fish and sandwidj.

A little wighle layter it was home time and it folod me home. And when we got home it wanted to play with my raydeeo and I let it play with it and just then I notist that it had a soot cays.  And it had a little bed with little stars on it and pancake with sirup.  And a little wighle layter it said it was tee time we had fish.

The next day we went to the zoo and we sor the lighens and the babby ones wer so cyoot and the paygwin put his hand in it and the babby lighens stroct his hand.  And when we got to the paygwins he put his hands out and when he did that the other paygwins tutch hands

he tutch the uther paygwins but that wasunt his home his home was in my hart.

And afer that we whent to the acwaireeum and he jumpt into the tank and swam with teh jeleefish and then it was home time but we wer very sneecy and we went to the mooves and he scidid on his tummy in to the laydee whitch had some popcorn that she was seling to people and it mayd a big crash! and thair was popcorn afreewair! 

So we got discwolafighd. And it was rerly layt so when we got home we were grownded for too weecs and it was a bumer bicus it was the school trip tomoro and we wer going to the zoo and he loved the zoo and after that we wer going to the acwaireeum and he loved swiming with the jeleefish and it was a big rileef bicus after a little whighle layter after thay thort about it thay let me and the paygwin go on to the shcool trip and he ripeetid what he did bifor.

The next day we tuc a trip to the hairdresis and the paygwin got in the chair and he got his tummy trimd and he was verry cros with me bicus he didunt like it.

So we whent to the biscit shop. And we sor a jighnormas biscit it was the bigist biscit in the world and he eat it.

and we left that shop bicus we got cict out so we went home and whent to are room and we playd on the exbox and it was orsam bicus we cept wining and after that we playd monoplee deel and the paygwin cept wining and then it was bedtime.

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33 responses to “The Day The Paygwin Came to School – by Oscar

  1. I hate being discwolafighd….

  2. I’m in the process of getting my second degree in literature and this may be the greatest story I’ve ever read. I hope Oscar knows how wonderful his story is. It’s brilliant.

  3. oh man, “his home was in my hart” just made me well up. He’s a talented young man indeed.

  4. Awww . . . orsum indeed! That’s brilliant. Well done Oscar. I’m calling dibs on a copy of his first commercially published novel which I confidently expect before he leaves school, xox.

  5. Phenomenal. Brilliant. “he tutch the uther paygwins but that wasunt his home his home was in my hart.” Best line I’ve read in ages. Go Oscar!

  6. “his home was in my hart” awwwww, bless.
    What a brilliant story! Oscar is definitely going to be an author when he grows up.

    I’m very impressed with his spelling – my brother is also 6 and his is much worse!

  7. Hooray!

  8. This stands apart with a charm all of it’s own. And quite frankly his spelling makes far more sense than what it ‘should’ be.

    I home teach and have spent years droning on about how ‘these’ words are ALWAYS spelt. but not this one. Or this one. … and how silent letters serve no purpose whatsoever but simply remind us of how we USED to say those words but don’t anymore.

    Take the fuckers out then that’s what I say. In fact they should be cict out forthwith.

  9. Well first poetry and now short stories, Oscar’s talent for tales will surely take him far. Please can I have a signed first edition?

  10. That’s great work! Not only is the content interesting and well-structured, but the invented spelling makes perfect sense and it’s perfectly readable. For a six-year-old, that is truly wonderful work. As a teacher of children that age, I would be absolutely thrilled to see this in my classroom (if I taught in English, I mean), but as a mother, I would be immensely proud as well! Oscar, well done! (And Katy and Jason, well done as well, because you’ve started that whole process by reading, reading, reading to him.)

  11. What a Star – not surprising with Katyboo as Momma! It’s so Chaucer-like too (like middle English?).

  12. What a wonderful story, Oscar! I love his plot and how gets across personality and emotions and the fact that he has caught on to what sound ‘igh’ makes is brilliant. The detail of the little bed with stars. Love it.

  13. His home was in my hart… A reflection of oscar’s home. Blessings to you all for the season. Thank you for your wonderful blog Katy.

  14. I know i’m a bit late to this but, seriously, Oscar you are awesome!!!
    Your story is in my hart. x

  15. and mine. x

  16. My daughter put me on to this- His grasp of story structure, and his vocabulary are tremendous. I too want to eat that jighnormas biscit, and I would not like my tummy trimmed either!
    These stories from when we are six are very precious- thank you for sharing.

  17. Katy, I thought you (and maybe Oscar) might like to know that I awarded Oscar ‘Most Honourable Mention’ in the category of ‘Best Young Adult or Children’s Book’ in my reading round-up this year.

    • That is fantastic Cayt. Thank you. I see he has some illustrious company. He’s just forging some bank notes at the moment, but when he has finished I will let him know. He will be delighted. x

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