Later on today, Jason and I will be running away together, alone for a night in a hotel. We are very excited about this.
The girls are with their dad and Oscar is going to granny’s house. Derek will be in charge of the house. I hope she doesn’t burn it down frying kippers and smoking roll ups.
We have started our weekend of decadence by getting up early and going into Carluccios for one of their delightful breakfasts. Oscar was excited because he is allowed warm pain aux chocolates. I am excited because I love their rich roast coffee and I get to eat crispy bacon and scrambled egg.
Jason got so excited he got latte all over his new tache.
After breakfast we went shopping for trainers. It was supposed to be shopping for Jason, but Oscar ended up with a new pair of trainers instead, which he is enormously happy with. He insisted on carrying the bag himself because he looked cool.
He does.
On the way home I commented that one of our local pubs, which in the past has been painted salmon pink, and a lurid fluorescent yellow, had gone a very tasteful mushroom colour.
Oscar said: ‘Mama. Mushrooms are not that colour. They are red with white spots on.’
Me: ‘No Oscar. That’s toadstools.’
Oscar: ‘I’ve never seen one of those growing before.’
Me: ‘I have, in the woods, but if you find one you must never eat it, because it is poisonous, and also because it is a fairy’s house, and if you eat a fairy’s house it will have to hunt you down and kill you.’
Oscar: ‘Don’t be silly mama. Fairies don’t live in toadstools. They live in TEETH.’
Me: ‘Ah! Is that why they’re called tooth fairies?’
Oscar: ‘Yes!’
Jason: ‘That’s why children’s teeth drop out. It’s the fairies pushing the teeth out from the inside so they can emerge like a butterfly from a cocoon.’
Oscar: ‘No! They have trapdoors that help them get in and out.’
Me: ‘What about fairies that aren’t tooth fairies? Where do they live?’
Oscar: ‘That will be berry fairies. Berry fairies live in berries.’
Me: ‘What do berry fairies do?’
Oscar: ‘Well. They collect berries mainly. They eat some, and they make jam from the rest.’
Me: ‘But what about the fact that they live in the berries. Won’t they be worried that another berry fairy will come and pick their house and turn it into jam?’
Oscar: ‘Of course not. They only live in the green ones. It’s the green ones that have all the furniture inside. The fairies just nibble themselves a door and all the furniture is already inside.’
Me: ‘Like seeds?’
Oscar: ‘Yep.’
Me: ‘Is there anything else you have to tell me about fairies?’
Oscar: ‘No. I can’t. I promised Tallulah. It’s the fairy promise. If I told you anything else about fairies I would have to kill you.’
Fantastic! That boy will go far with Tallulah as his big sister I suspect
My boy told me, witheringly, the other day that fairies don’t exist, I wish he had a big sister to keep him in line, I can’t. He then got into a complicated discussion with his Dad about the existence of elves (doubtful) and Father Christmas (utter belief but then if there are no real elves who makes the toys and helps Santa?), he was skillfully distracted ‘Look, a tiger! Ooops, no sorry, it’s next door’s cat’
Btw what’s the pattern on Oscar’s anorak, it looks v smart, sorry, cool.
Julia
It’s little gorilla heads! I got it from a charity shop. Next time it comes out of the laundry basket I’ll let you know the make.