nowt much

Tilly has been out of school all day, poorly.  She has stomach cramps and a grey face. I pray to God she is not turning into me.  She is, I think, experiencing what I think of as pre puberty puberty.  It is annoying and inexplicably emotional but without the blood loss.  This is better than with the blood loss.  She is not convinced.

Tallulah has been to school, but she is not going tomorrow, due to strike action.  At this point it is very unlikely that Tilly will be going either. I am quite impressed with this. It is not often that my children synchronise so that I do not have to split myself nine million ways to satisfy all their demands.  If Tilly doesn’t puke and Tallulah doesn’t take ill, or get nits before breakfast I might finally be able to take them all to have their hair cut.  The girls have not had a hair cut for about eight months now.  It keeps slipping off the bottom of our agenda.

They need summer sandals too.

It is things like these that do not get done in favour of learning how to say; ‘bring me an orange juice’ in Spanish, and learning to karate chop your foe in the jugular by extending one finger.  This is all very well, but there are times, when your children are referred to as ‘urchins’, and look like barefoot versions of Cousin It, that things like footwear and hair cuts become more desirable.

Oscar is not too bad, as I have him in my evil clutches most days.  His hair, although a bit lively (as in bouncy, rather than with lice) is reasonably presentable, and he has some new Spiderman Crocs that he is negotiating with me to sleep in. Although he will not get to sleep in the crocs (I know. I know. Harsh and unfair.) he will pass muster.

The girls will not.

I found Tallulah looking very uncomfortable the other day.  She said her pants (as in under crackers) were too tight.  I looked at the label.  It said ‘aged five to six’.  She is eight next week.  No wonder she looked pained. It was a wonder she wasn’t snapped in two.  We had a serious wardrobe clear out, and purchased more capacious underwear.  That’s a start.

I noted in the supermarket today that Sainsburys have half their children’s clothing department already  dedicated to ‘back to school’ wear.  My children do not break up for another fortnight.  They haven’t even left school to go back to it yet.

Not only that but I never, ever buy their new school clothes at the beginning of the holidays anyway.  My children always make a point of growing like fury during the six week holidays.  Not only do they grow taller, but their feet grow and in some cases they change shape entirely, much like Morph.

They only do it to thwart my plans to be organised and avoid the back to school rush.  Even if I buy clothes that are deliberately too big to make allowance for their growth spurt, they will find ways to thwart me.  Things like Tilly’s legs will grow, but her waist will shrink.  You would think this is ideal, but not when your school trousers either fall down round your ankles every three minutes or you look like an extra in Star Trek.

So I turned away from the temptation to buy heaps of clothes now and just throw them in a cupboard for the next eight weeks.  I would feel smug for a week until Tallulah started growing an extra leg, and then there would be nothing but recriminations all round.

I did however, finally manage to get Tallulah a few birthday presents.  Her list was complex, due to the fact that she really doesn’t need or want anything.  This has never hindered any nearly eight year old from making a giant list in the past, and it certainly hasn’t stopped her.

Unfortunately many things on her list she already has in abundance, and there is really no room for fluffy toy kitten number eighteen and small toy dog in a handbag number twenty six.  Then there are the things she wants that she is banned from having for one reason and another. Not fire arms, but toys that she had in the past that she has either thrown away, failed to play with, given away or broken, and has now decided she cannot live without.  Then there is the stuff that is unavailable, like books and/or dvd’s that are not coming out until the Autumn.

I was fairly depressed about this state of affairs, as was she.  I cheered her up by telling her to leave it to me, and that I would think of a wonderful surprise.  All well and good, but I have been singularly bereft of ideas.

During my perambulation round Sainsbury’s this morning I actually managed to find a few small things she will love, and this has unlocked the well spring of inspiration for the finishing touches to her birthday surprise.  I think she will be happy. Me, I’m just relieved.

 

 

 

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