It is quarter to two. I have to be up in four hours. I really need to go to bed.
Instead I am having a slight panic attack moment which has lasted several hours.
I have decided to deal with it with my usual head in the sand; ‘la la la I can’t hear you’ methods.
This has mostly involved watching three days worth of Glastonbury on BBC iPlayer with extensive use of the fast forward button. I have discovered several things:
- Mark Radcliffe is very funny and I love him dearly
- Mark Radcliffe does not make up for the gaping, John Peel shaped hole which will be forever present in all Glastonbury programming.
- Jo Whiley and Lauren Laverne are very pretty, and look considerably better after three days and no sleep in a giant mud filled field than I do on a normal morning with full access to all facilities.
- I am sorry pop fans, but Zane Lowe is a bit of a knob. He may know a bit about music and be cool, but he’s still a cock.
- I cannot deny the fact that Coldplay’s ‘Fix You’ makes me howl like a child who has lost his favourite bear every time I hear/see it.
- Beyonce was surprisingly good, particularly given the fact that I don’t actually like any of her music.
- E from the Eels cannot sing. This does not take away from the fact that a) I still love the Eels, and b) he has a stupendous beard
- I am way too old for Glastonbury, even on the telly mostly.
- I am glad I stayed at home. Three hours with a cup of tea and a fast forward button is infinitely preferable to three days getting trench foot and having to relieve myself in portaloo.
So there you have it.
Glastonbury in a nutshell, complete with biscuit crumbs.
Now I really, really must go to sleep.
I love Mark Radcliffe with a white hot passion – he’s on BBC Radio 6 (which is only on digital sadly but if you have satellite telly you can get it through that) every afternoon doing a show with Stuart Maconie and it’s hysterical, I highly recommend it.
As you may have guessed, music is an incredibly important part of my life and, sad to say, I’ve never ever been to Glasto but I sit and watch as much of it on the box as I can and, every year, bemoan the fact that I’m not there.
So, I’ve decided I’m going when it’s next on in 2013, not least because that’s the year I celebrate my half-century and, secondly, because it’s about time I went.
And, yes, Zane Lowe is an enormous knob who thinks far too much of himself.
I love Stuart too, so I shall try to listen in. I applaud your plans for Glasto. I think about it a lot. I just never do it.
Sorry, I was never very good at fields for any purpose, Concerts in Football stadiums and other venues oh yes! Although I’m not admitting to which groups I saw but suffice to say, most of the people you mention here elicit only a slight frown and a shrug . . . .
Sharon
I always preferred gigs in pubs. Nearer to the bar…
they actually *broadcast* the festival on the television? and the radio? that’s awesome. because i, definitely, am not the cold, muddy field type (did i ever mention that my idea of “roughing it” is having to stand at the bar?) but i am the sort of festive air festival sort of person.
Bronxbee
I am with you on the whole roughing it thing. But yes. Every year they have extensive coverage on t.v. and radio of Glasto in particular, but now there are lots of summer festivals and they do those too. Even the Hay book festival. And Edinburgh. There is more now they have BBC3 and BBC4. it is awesome.