It’s been a confusing day so far, and I’ve only been awake for about an hour. I blame it on the glass of wine I had last night before bed. That’s my rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle for ya.
I woke up at 7.36 this morning needing a pee. I know it was 7.36 because I prized my eyes open and groped for my watch, still half asleep. Then I saw the time.
Then I was WIDE AWAKE.
I said: ‘OH MY GOD!’
Jason mumbled: ‘What?What?What?’ With that rising inflection that means: ‘You are a bloody nuisance woman. What was I thinking when I married you? I was just having a lovely dream about winning a Porsche 911 in a game of poker, and now I am awake in the Mansion of Doom with a crazy, shouty lady blithering on in my ear.’
I said: ‘It is 7.36, and I forgot to set the alarm, and Tilly needs to go out and catch a bus in ten minutes time. OH MY GOD!’
Jason said: ‘It is Saturday, you dozy mare.’
I said: ‘Oh!’
That was a horrible moment.
I lay snoozing for some time after that, then crawled out of bed and went to perform my ablutions.
I looked in the mirror to find the next shock of the day. It seems that somehow, overnight I accidentally slept on top of my head and possibly even performed a small amount of break dancing. It is the only way I can explain the fact that my hair now makes me look like a cross between:
Pete Burns (the old style Pete Burns), and:
Ronnie Woods.
I must dig out the hair straighteners as a matter of extreme urgency.
If this were not perturbing enough on its own, yesterday I spent quite a while catching glimpses of myself as I was out bleeding money out of my ears, doing some frantic Christmas shopping. I was puzzled. I reminded myself of someone, but who?
Nope, not Yvette Fielding this time (thank goodness. Not that she isn’t lovely). It finally came to me. I look like Vince Noir from The Mighty Boosh:
I really need to get to grips with this new hairstyle. I am appreciative of the fact that one cannot know how it feels to be someone else until you have walked a mile in their shoes, but I do not think that the same thing applies to hairstyles. I don’t feel more like Ronnie Wood this morning, despite the glass of wine last night, and I pray to all the gods that I never know what it feels like to be Pete Burns.
I’d quite like to know what it feels like to be Noel Fielding, so I shall stick with the Vince look for now, and should my attempts at finding that Anglo Saxon treasure and making my fortune come to naught I can always get a job as a celebrity lookie likie and become rich beyond my wildest dreams that way.
I could so do the Ice Flow Song:
Which is good news, because the next shock was waking up to find it had snowed this morning.
I’m off to practice my shrew dance without falling into the pond.
Oh, I would KILL to have hair like Noel Fielding, but mine just doesn’t seem to do it – a feather cut like that would make me look more like Linda McCartney (when she was alive of course – or possibly not….)
That’s the day off to a good start then . . . or maybe not! Bit early for snow, even in the Midlands. Wrap up warm Katyboo. A hat will also cover any problems with the hair do
great hair comments katy i thought it made you look very grownup.
Mrs Jones
I am quite impressed with it. I love Noel Fielding. I can understand the fear of looking like Linda McCartney though.
Sharon
Once I’d got the straighteners out it was all good ta. Yes, very early for snow. Urgh.
The Hair Guy
Thank you. I do not spend a lot of time feeling grown up, so it is important to look like it! Everyone is very impressed by the colour by the way.
Sweets, if you’re going to blog about celebrities you might wanna get the spelling of their names right.
You mean the fact that he is Ronnie Wood, not Ronnie Woods?
I suspect this heinous crime is why Ronnie is no longer speaking to me.
Holla! LOL If you read my recent blog you’ll notice that came on as a result of being on my period. Women do irrational things like make asshat comments during that time of the month. Sorry bout’ that.
xx
No worries.