I am definitely in hibernation mode.
I was in bed and asleep by half nine last night. This is not normal for me. I was so tired I couldn’t keep my eyes open, and had already fallen asleep on the sofa three times, smashing myself on the head with my book in the process.
When I am not falling asleep I am eating. I have had two breakfasts and a couple of snacks already today and it’s only eleven. I couldn’t even call the second breakfast elevenses. I could not wait that long for it.
This then, is conclusive proof that rather than running about being active and organised and responsible, I should be tucked up in a large box, covered in straw, or in the salad crisper in the fridge, as I have learned that this is the new way to hibernate a tortoise.
No wonder life seems difficult at the moment. I am clearly fighting an overwhelming biological imperative.
I have decided that one year, possibly when the children have left home, or when they are vile teenagers who can make their own Pot Noodles and Pop Tarts without my help, I shall test this theory.
I shall have a room dedicated to the pursuit of hibernation. There will be many soft things, possibly made of swansdown and cashmere. There will be good pillows that do not make your neck go funny.
There will be a constant aura of gentle, glowing warmth from underfloor heating, and items guaranteed to induce a soporific state like Radio Four, and Nineteenth Century novels.
There will be energy snacks, but not those nasty fruit and nut ones. No. There will be cake and things which do not crunch. I hate having to crunch things when I am tired. It is why I do not eat cereal in the mornings. Cereal is only for when your jaw is awake enough to cope with crunching.
There will be lagoons of hot chocolate endlessly flowing from spigots.
There will be a non draughty, silent flushing toilet, in an adjacent room, accessed by a non-creaking door, sans draughts. Even I do not think that sleeping from November to March in a puddle of my own wee is a state devoutly to be wished.
I shall retire from the world on the first of November and re-emerge in the spring, rejuvenated, refreshed and raring to go.
I’m sure it will work.
Yep, right on. I’m feeling much the same as you — a definite need to hibernate. Can we come and share your nest? Mind you mine isn’t being helped at the moment by this f***ing cold which I still can’t shift after 2 weeks.
& don’t forget Simon Schama murmuring away in the background!
I’m currently heading in the opposite direction, rather unwillingly. Just can’t sleep, or, at least, not for very long, even with alcoholic inducements. Running on about 5 hrs per night just now which may sound enough but I normally need at least 8 or I get v stabby indeed.
If you could add adjust some of the hot chocolate spigots to provide a selection of yummy soups I’d join you. Definitely don’t fancy hibernating in the salad crisper in the fridge though
Pleasant dreams – and you’ve reminded me of a favourite bit of sleepy-sounding poetry, from John Gower’s ‘Confesio Amantis’ (1386-90):
“…And thus full of delit
Slep hath his hous; and of his couche
Withinne his chambre if I schal touche,
Of hebenus that sleepi Tree
The bordes al aboute be,
And for he scholde slepe softe,
Upon a fethrebed alofte
He lith with many a pilwe of doun…”
See? It’s intellectual to sleep, innit?
I would love to join you too, but I’m currently like Mrs Jones and am unable to sleep longer than about 5 hours. Still, I’d be quiet and just read in bed, sipping my hot chocolate contentedly, I promise!
Sounds like a fantastic plan…..now I have an empty nest I may give it a try!
I’m going to go against the grain here. I feel less in need of sleep and more in need of fresh air and invigorating walks in the bracing 80mph winds. I find the central heating of winter makes my brain foggy. Possibly I should just give in to this, but it makes me headachy and then I’ll need to borrow your CLD. So enjoy your nest. I shall be out marching in puddles and will retire in spring.
Your eating habits indicate that you’re morphing into a) Bilbo Baggins or b)Winnie-the-Pooh.Furry or hairy is very good at this time of year.I slept through an Amazon delivery this morning.The end is nigh.
That sounds like bliss; sadly I am suffering like Mrs Jones and Pinklea at the moment, but have taken friday off specially for sleeping.
Keith
Yes, you are welcome, as long as you can blow your nose quietly.
Mrs Jones
Ah! Yes, Simon.
Sorry to hear that you haven’t been sleeping well.
Sharon
Soup it is. I don’t want to go in the salad crisper either.
Noreen
That’s lovely.
Pinklea
You are welcome.
Libby
go for it.
Homeofficemum
We shall pass each other in March as I wake up, and you go back to bed.
Jenny
I’d prefer to be Bilbo. I was never keen on honey.
Sleeping through an Amazon delivery is disastrous.
Alienne
Excellent. A dedicated sleeping day. I like your planning.