Oscar, my son, who is four (only just), got his first piece of junk mail yesterday.
It is a cut out of a cunningly constructed tower of packing boxes addressed to Mr. Oscar Wheatley.
On the back, you will be delighted to know that Morris Homes, purveyors of newly built homes in the delightful and sophisticated environs of St Mary’s Park, Melton Mowbray (between the railway line and the dog food factory), want him to:
‘Come and discover the beautiful St. Mary’s Park. With 100% part exchange if you buy one of our superior new homes, we’ll buy yours – so you could be planning your move next week.’
Not only that but he can take advantage of either fitted carpets, £2,500 of extras such as curtains and a fridge freezer, or John Lewis vouchers, as an added incentive.
They will even arrange to pack and move his stuff.
All this for only £167,750.
It’s a steal.
I was reading this with great mirth as my mum passed by. She looked at it and said:
‘You didn’t tell me that Oscar was unhappy at home.’
He is a prodigy that one. Most children would just ring Childline.
The temptation to let him run with it…just to see how far you can go…would be almost overwhelming.
Charles
I got offered a test drive in a porsche when I was fourteen, via the power of crappy postal advertising. How tempted was I ?