I am currently reading Happyslapped by a jellyfish: The words of Karl Pilkington. I had never heard of him before I picked up the book, but I liked the title, so I took it home from the library. He seems to be a mate of Ricky Gervais. I wasn’t sure if this was a good thing or not. The Office makes me cringe in ways hitherto unseen except when performed by professional contortionists at a freak show.
I’m glad I did pick it up though.
It is very amusing. Odd. But very funny. It is a mix of crap poems, stories, travelogues and rubbish drawings. It is silly and appealing.
I laughed my socks off the other day when I read about his experiences with injury when he was a small boy. His parents and my parents had a very similar attitude to caring for small children with self inflicted wounds:
‘I was once choking to death on a Mr Freeze ice pop. Me face was red, me lips were purple, me eyes were rolling into the back of me head, and all I could hear was me dad shouting ”That’s what you get for being greedy.” ‘
Happy times…
Mind you, that’s the kind of thing I do myself. It seems it is genetically implanted and bursts into life as soon as you get to be a parent yourself. When Oscar drove his tricycle off the top step of the decking last year, after I had picked him up and unplugged his nostrils where they were full of grass, I said: ‘That’s what you get if you will drive your tricycle off the top step of the decking you silly boy.’
I did cuddle him too, by the way.
I used to get that level of caring from my mum too, but then I put it down to the fact that she was from Northern working class stock (she really truly used to work oop ‘t mill) and was very ‘stuff and nonsense’ about that kind of thing. If the bone wasn’t actually sticking through the skin, then you’d be roughly brushed down and sent on your way.
Yep I got the same treatment too. My mother’s invariable response to me (or my father) was “You silly bugger!”
Looks as though most of us came from non-coddling stock
My elder son was (and still is sometimes!) a bit of a wuss but didn’t have many accidents to require too much TLC, the younger one seemed to spend an inordinate amount of time being stitched, bandaged, plastercast-ed or monitored for concussion but never made a fuss and generally shrugged off any latent gentle nurturing instincts I possessed. Not much has changed there either, to witness his recent disaster! Apparently the thing that worried him most about the fractured spine (once the spectre of paralysis was largely eliminated) was having to ring up and tell me he’d been a total prat AGAIN! And yes, once I was sure he would eventually be ok, I did call him by his full name in that totally exasperated tone of voice just as I did when he was a small boy!
Yeesss – I also have very little sympathy for small children with self-inflicted wounds – especially when it happens three minutes after I’ve said “Don’t do that, Alice, or you’ll hurt yourself”.
Karl is the best part of the Ricky Gervais Show (series of podcasts). Ricky is a homophobic bully (who constantly carps on about how Karl is an idiot “with a head like a f*ckin’ orange”), but Karl is awesome. His crazy theories about how the human body and nature function, his crabby travel diaries, and his stories about his weird family and childhood make me laugh until I cry–especially the one where he visited his friend who was house-sitting a run-down stately home which had been used as a mental hospital. I think RGS is worth paying for on I-Tunes just for Karl alone.
Reminds me of a time I fell over while giving my brother a piggy back down a hill. After checking that my brother was ok my mum started shouting at me for ruining the trousers I had on. The fact that I had blood pouring down my leg was irrelevant. I guess 11 year olds aren’t allowed to feel pain??
Mrs Jones
I think nurses are worse. My aunt, and my best friend’s mum were nurses and they were way less sympathetic even than my parents. Hard to believe but true!
Keith
Yep. Sounds familiar!
Sharon
I’m glad to know that the caring continues as they get older!
Charles
It is useful to know you are not alone!
J
I just watched him in a new series on Sky called An Idiot Abroad. He went to the Taj Mahal. It was wonderful.
Bev
No. Never. Nor are 38 year olds if it’s any consolation to you.