Two women, deep in discussion. One woman is very passionately narrating a list of wrongs that someone else has perpetrated upon her person. The other listens, interjecting only occasionally. Eventually the stream of evils done dies down, and X says:
X: ‘And so. And so. Anyway. I’m going to ring him up and tell him that I’m just not talking to him anymore’ (said in a tone of deep satisfaction)
Y: ‘X?’
X: ‘Yeah?’
Y: (hands on hips) ”Ave a word with yourself won’t you?’
X: ‘What? What do you mean?’
Y: ‘You’re forty two years old. And you’re going to telephone someone to tell them you’re not speaking to them?’
X: (Defensively) ‘Yeah!’
Y: ‘Your five year old son has got more sense than you, and he’s an idiot. You can’t bloody well ring someone you’re not talking to, to tell them you’re not talking to them. You’re not bleedin’ talking to them are yer?’
X: (Deflated) ‘Oh!’
Y: (extremely self satisfied), ‘You’re not in the bloody playground now you know.’
X: ‘mmmmmm….I spose so.’
Y: (shakes head) ”Ave a bleedin word with yerself.’
laughed my head off. “Your five year old son has got more sense than you, and he’s an idiot.” hilarious. and i think “‘ave a word with yerself” are some of the most brilliant i’ve heard in a long time. i’m going to include it in my repertoire of world weary expressions.
Bronxbee
Have a word with yourself is one of my friend Aunty Squirrel’s favourite phrases, and it never fails to make me laugh.x
Brilliant. We say ‘can you hear yourself?’ in situations like that!
Sharon
It’s just the best phrase. I love it.