Disaster heaped upon Doom

I am tired and a wee bit hysterical.  Mostly tired.

So the emergency plumber, who was supposed to come out within an hour last night when Jason rang to find out that we were covered through our house insurance at seven p.m.?  Yes. That plumber.  He came at midnight.  I lasted until eleven when I kept falling asleep on the sofa and jerking awake every time the sirens went off on t.v. (Jason was watching Police Camera Action type programmes. No. I do not understand it either).  Jason was sick of my twitching so sent me to bed.  I passed out instantly and heard nothing of the ensuing palaver.

The leak is in the main pipe which connects the mains water to the house.  It is jammed under the sink cupboard. It may need the entire sink unit removing.  Jason said to the plumber: ‘Do it. Do it now.’  to which the plumber replied (sucking his teeth): ‘Can’t guv’nor.  You’re only covered for two hour emergencies and this is more than that. I’ve already used an hour.’  Jason said (on his knees) ‘Please, please, please don’t abandon us.  We are only small and we have jet lag and children and it is bank holiday weekend. You can’t leave us like this.’  The plumber was quite kind and said he could come out on Saturday for £200 but that he thought because it was so near the mains that the repairs were probably the responsibility of our local water board (Severn Trent) and they might do it for free if we rang them in the morning.  In the meantime he left us his big long metal key thingy for turning the water off at the mains outside the house and told us to turn all the water off before we went to bed to prevent excess leakage.  Not entirely hopeless.

Jason got into bed and went into a deep coma.  At half past two this morning Oscar woke up in floods of tears.  I comforted him and put him back to bed.  This went on until half past three at ten minute intervals.  I got into bed with him at one point, which nearly killed me, as my shoulder is still very sore.  I changed nappies.  I changed pyjamas. I provided water. I provided stories. I soothed. I bribed. I cajoled.  Then I lost my temper entirely.  Jason got up for a pee, told me off for not being sympathetic enough to small boys, and then we had a blazing row.

I went downstairs to make a hot water bottle for my aching shoulder and left them to it. I came back to  bed to find Jason in it with Oscar.  Jason said: ‘I didn’t think you wanted any more sleep.’  I just snarled.  There was no other civilized reply.  I fell into bed and we all went to sleep in a filthy mood.

This morning I got everyone up to start the school/nursery run.  Oscar woke up and said: ‘I don’t feel very well.’  Then he threw up all over my side of the bed.  What joy.

I went down to Tallulah and made sure she was all sorted for school.  She looked smart and beautiful and ready.  Then she threw up all over the bathroom.  We cleared up.  We got downstairs.  She threw up downstairs. 

Jason turned the water back on.  We had no choice.  Now the washing was really stinky.

We have stuffed the cavity under the sink with towels while we do laundry and scrub children and bathrooms.  We are waiting for the water board. It is their responsibility apparently.  They may turn up today.  They may not.

I’m so glad I came home.

Tilly is the only one who slept all night and didn’t wake up covered in puke. She has gone to Wales for the weekend with granny and grandad.  I don’t blame her.

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