Tallulah is an interesting child. When she is not telling you the entire plot of the last episode of Buffy that she watched, or counting her ornaments that is. She has a most unusual turn of phrase and a curiously philosophical approach to things, which can be richly rewarding to listen to. These days we don’t get much time to chat as I am either asleep, running away or fielding more than one child at once.
Today was the first time in a long time we have spent alone and engaged, rather than me being vacant. Every time she said something I thought was noteworthy I texted it to her father so that I would have a record (I forgot to bring pen and paper). He thought I was insane, but I didn’t want to miss it.
Here goes:
‘Your face is the most important part of you mummy, because it holds your neck on, and that’s very important. It’s much more important than your feet. They don’t have to hold anything on. So it’s best to have your feet chopped off and not your head.’
‘If you don’t ever think about things it makes you poorly. And you can’t learn anything because there will be nothing inside your head, and that means that you can’t do anything, or even go to school.’
me: ‘Have you ever tried to think about nothing Tallulah?’
Tallulah: ‘No. I think about things all the time, even in my sleep.’
Big pause:
‘Still. I don’t know what those things are though because I’m asleep.’
When we were in Carluccios they gave her crayon pencils so that she could do some colouring in.
‘Mama? You could stake a vampire through the heart easily with these, and they’re even sharpened!’
Quite.
Adorable. Sage and adorable.
I love kids’ thoughts! I still have some of the notes my two gave me – ‘Dear mum and dad you are kind lovelee loves’; and even better ‘Drear mum and dad’. Keep noting them down – they will make a good follow up to Katyboo does Shakespeare!
ah tallulah… the ferocious, evil yet charming, niece i’ve never had (and always wanted).
Did she like her gift?
Do keep a record of all of your children’s quirky little utterances, because then you will have instant material for when you are asked to say a few words at their wedding receptions!
Ah, Tallulah – a girl after my own heart, especially on the vampire-staking front.
Red Shoes
She is. She really is.
Alienne
Drear! How perfect. A friend once had a love letter from a rather illiterate boyfriend. He meant to say that she was the best but said: ‘You are the beast’! I love that.
Bronxbee
I am looking forward to you meeting her!
Choo
She absolutely did. I’m so sorry I forgot to text you about it. It was on my list!
Pinklea
Photographic evidence also!
Mrs Jones
I don’t know how she would be in real life with a vampire. In theory she has it nailed. In practice she screams at wood lice. We will see.
What a very practical child you have there Katyboo. Will remember her words of wisdom should I ever have to make the choice between having my feet or my head chopped off
Haha, she’s fabulous!
Sharon
It is good to be armed with such knowledge.
Bev
She is isn’t she?
She is totally right about you will do poorly if you don’t think about things, as evidenced by my stepsons. I love how she loves Buffy, which I really can’t show to my daughters yet. She sounds delightful in mnay ways, and difficult in a few, like my three year old, who asks me things about my cousins (because she adores a girl cousin ten years older) gasps when I list the cousins and mention one died, then cheerfully says “well we’ll just go buy two new cousins and then we’ll get an extra!”
Ginger
It’s a fair comment. I like her pragmatic nature.