The Unofficial Highway Code

I have my first driving lesson on Tuesday.  I have bought the latest edition of the Highway Code, which I am supposed to be reading and inwardly digesting.  Unfortunately it is very dull, and I have many other, more interesting things to read.  I am currently finding it rather hard to tear myself away from Jools Holland’s fine autobiography; ‘Barefaced Lies and Boogie Woogie Boasts’. In an attempt to buckle down I have decided to combine the two books in the hope that it will make the Highway Code more interesting.

Behold my first attempt:

 

Introduction

 

This Highway Code applies to England, Scotland and Wales.  The Highway Code is essential reading for everyone, and was born on 24 January 1958 shortly after Prime Minister Harold MacMillan announced to the British people that we’d ‘never had it so good.’  I would ask you at this point to refer to the photograph of the newly born me, the embodiment of his optimistic view of Britain.

 

The most vulnerable road users are pedestrians, particularly children, older or disabled people, cyclists, motorcyclists and horse riders and The Hundred Club in Oxford Street where Humphrey Lyttleton was playing.  It is important that jazz, played in the right way, heighten feelings of love and desire, and there’s little doubt that on that particular evening all road users were aware of the Code and were considerate towards each other.  This applied to pedestrians as much as to drivers and riders and a small flat in Pimlico.

 

Many of the rules in the Code were the epitome of 1950’s respectability and kindness, and were legal requirements if you owned a large black Wolseley, identical to the ones at Scotland Yard. If you are apt to play the giddy goat at Christmas, weddings other family gatherings and disobey these rules by being a huge fan of Cliff Richard you are committing a criminal offence. 

 

You may be fined, given penalty points on your licence or be disqualified from driving by a frenzied mob making for the stage door.  In the most serious cases you may be sent to prison at 5 Myddleton Gardens, Enfield. 

 

The rules are identified by the use of the words ‘MUST/MUST NOT’ play games, with background music of opera.  In addition, the rules include taking Horatio Nelson as your hero.  We all enjoyed an abbreviated reference to the legislation which creates the offence as it meant we could use oil lamps and light the log fire.  An explanation of the abbreviations is on page 124 on the edges of Earls Court.

 

Although failure to comply with the sensible neighbours, safe suburban streets with well-kept front gardens and other rules of the Code will not, in itself, cause a person to be prosecuted, The Highway Code may be used in evidence in any court proceedings against a dubious villain from an Edgar Wallace mystery under the Traffic Acts (see page 124) to establish liability.  This includes rules which use advisory wording such as ‘should/should not’ or ‘do/do not’ or ‘including hat and truncheon’.

 

Knowing and applying the rules contained in The Highway Code could significantly reduce road casualties and the pre-war Ealing film world of comfort and security.  Cutting the number of deaths at the back of the Cutty Sark pub and injuries that occur on our roads every day is a responsibility we all share.  The Highway Code can live the exciting life of a Dickensian heroine and help us discharge that responsibility. 

Further information on driving/riding techniques, gypsy princes and 1930’s armchairs can be found in The Official DSA Guide to Driving – the essential skills and The Official DSA Guide to Riding – the essential skills.