I have spent my day sighing on the Chaise Longue of Death, coughing consumptively and wincing. Occasionally I have staggered to the kitchen to eat chocolate covered malted milk biscuits and drop crumbs down my cleavage. This is mostly all.
I did think about doing things, then when I actually did something, like make a nourishing tea for the children I was so hungry and greedy I burned my mouth on a bit of garlic bread and have given myself a blister. This is a valuable life lesson. I should have thrown the takeaway menus and a tenner at them and given them a taste of what it will be like when they move out. I certainly should not have attempted to do anything. I was a fool to myself.
Nothing exciting has happened. I have read another three hundred pages of Hilary Mantel. I have watched Michael Woods waxing lyrical about Beowulf in the British library. I have dozed. It was a spectacular day.
Just to show you that even when the CLD is calling I still remain eagle eyed and eared for the delectation of my readers I must report that dropping Tallulah to her classroom this morning was a most singular experience. One of the mother’s had brought in a frozen baby mole in a tupperware container. It appears that she thought this might be of interest to the teacher and her class.
Naturally it was of almost obsessive interest to the class. The teacher looked about as enthusiastic as if someone had offered her a gilded turd. The mother picked up on this general aura of disapprobation and said in a very fierce voice: ‘It only came out of the freezer this morning!’ like that made all the difference in the world.
I was quite impressed by her brio. Tallulah wanted to take her stone collection in this week and I said no, fearing it would be too stressful for all involved. I may have to reassess the situation now that it seems all the rage to wander into school with rodent shaped icicles. I hate to miss out.
Oscar’s new class at nursery has a guinea pig called Elvis. I wonder if they would miss him?
Poor poorly one! Hoping that you feel better for the weekend.
I hate that thing with too hot food and burning mouth. Did mine on some healthy soup yesterday. Chocolate never burns mouth, and is therefore obviously better for you.
On subject of frozen rodent, I am speechless.
Hug! x
Justme
I am more upset about the blister than the earache that’s been driving me demented for two days! Bizarre eh? Although not as bizarre as the mole.
I once kept a Jay in the freezer for several months. One of my cats brought it in alive, put it down where it hopped about a bit and then keeled over, stone dead. I sort of had half a mind to take it to a taxidermist and I know (from a friend’s experience of her dead pet cat called Throb) that they suggest putting the animal to be taxidermed into the freezer until you can get it to them. I think I must have thrown it out after deciding I was never going to save up enough money to get it done (stuffing animals is a pricey business – Throb cost coupla hundred quid and this was in the 1980s). So I do have a certain level of sympathy with frozen mole woman…
PS. Hope you feel better soon.
Bringing a frozen mole to school is just weird… and makes me wonder where she got a dead mole from in the first place.
Hope the CLD is helping. Am most impressed by frozen mole mother. Wonder who had to deal with it as it thawed out??? Am now longing for garlic bread and there is no such thing as takeaway here – aargh
Get well soon! I recommend red wine for the ear ache. Actually, I recommend red wine for eeeeverything.
my sister kirsty kept a large and varied menagerie — everything from dogs, cats and rabbits, to rheas, iguanas, parrots, and even more exotic creatures. all at one time. whenever *anything* died, it got popped into the freezer where it would, eventually, feed something else. the whole “circle of life” thing made miniature. it certainly made visits to my parents home an interesting event. imagine being a bleary-eyed, non-morning person (me) and staggering to the freezer for the frozen bagels, only to be met by a frozen parakeet, a frozen iguana and several frozen large goldfish, eyeing you balefully from plastic bags. it could be disconcerting. as was finding a bowl of very cold corn flakes in the fridge, only to be told that it was the home of a large collection of meal worms that my sister fed to birds, iguanas and fish. a wriggling bowl of cornflakes is rather… unusual first thing in the a.m.
sorry, katyboo — hope that didn’t make things worse for you!
feel better. an earache! ach, that and a toothache are the worst things.
My son’s housemate has a snake which has to be fed thawed out baby mice. Poor son who is very squeamish (no, not stereotypical at all) had to deal with it for a month while she was away. The snake he likes but the whole feeding it thing, not so much.
Heat pack(s) applied to the ear(s) whilst lounging on the CLD eating chocolate and imbibing drugs and alcohol might help. Earache and toothache are the worst things!
Re the drum, if Oscar is still insistent, go to a proper music shop and check out small hand drums. Seriously, they are far less irritating to the nerves of the junior percussionist’s mother if you can find a good tone. Mind you I’ve no idea what they cost these days, so you may just have to get heavy duty ear plugs to go with a cheaper offering.
You really would hate for your freezer light to go on the blink with frozen rodents loitering about. You’d be rummaging for a tub of ben and jerrys and accidentally fondle a dead rat and if you managed to avoid licking it in your haste to get to ice cream, I fear your appetite would still be lost and ice cream would lose it’s allure forever.
You MUST warn Tallulah never to accept any item of food from Tupperware woman.Don’t you think that Michael Woods looks increasingly like Yoda?I became fixated on his scarf wardrobe.It’s horrible having a burnt mouth-it makes you feel really miserable.You’ll have to limit yourself to cake and chocolate.
A frozen WHAT?!
AWESOME!
Mrs Jones
You are very brave. I eschew taxidermy with a firm hand ever since I saw that mangled cat on That’s Life once when I was twelve!
Bev
Apparently the cat killed it, but only gently!
Welshgirl
yes. It was the thawing thing that worried me too.
Redshoes
Much better today thanks. I poured red wine in the ear and it worked wonders!
Bronxbee
Urgh! Still it does put things in perspective.
Sharon
I saw finger drums this afternoon. It may be the way forward. Too small to make much noise but still fulfils the brief. Plus under a tenner. For the win.
Homeofficemum
Yikes. You think too much. That’s just a horrible, horrible scenario.
Jenny
Yes! He does. I too worry abut his scarves. He had at least four this programme and a whole raft of the things when he went round India. I did used to fancy him when I was a teenager but the yoda thing has put me off in recent years!
Hairy Farmer
I know! Tallulah was so impressed. Luckily we have caterpillars to take the edge off frozen mole deprivation at the moment.