Bad news I am afraid.
Jason saw the doctors today. They have given his mother an 80% chance of dying of pneumonia within the next forty eight hours. This is terrible.
Even more terrible is the fact that because she was already so weak, frail and ill when she came in that they cannot give her proper pain relief because it will kill her. Nor can they perform any surgical procedures as they would with other more healthy patients, because that too will kill her.
The worse news is that if she pulls through the pneumonia, even though they are not sure what sort of cancer it is that she has, they know she has it and that it is too advanced for them to do anything about. This means that if the pneumonia doesn’t get her, the cancer surely will, and soon.
As for the cancer, if she is not well enough to be treated now, she will be in no position for the harsh regimen they put them through for cancer then, so she will suffer.
So, the best possible outcome really is for her to die soon, and hopefully in her sleep, because that will mean less pain and suffering all round.
It’s pretty devastating.
I am at home, waiting, waiting, waiting. I am becoming increasingly frustrated and driving myself round the bend. I was going to take the kids to the park so we could run off some excess energy and it would get us out for a bit. The park is only down the road so I am near enough to home to be of use, if and when they need me. As it is the weather is totally vile, foggy, wet and rainy with side winds. Even the girls, who are up for the park in most weathers, have not been eager to venture outside.
We have been reading books, curled up on the sofa. The girls have played makeovers and I have been chief hair straightener. Oscar keeps wanting daddy, which is not helping. I have been able to pacify him by finding his scroop driver and drill. He has been using them to perform his own, more industrial strength makeovers.
In between I am writing about King Lear. It is keeping my mind busy and focussed on other things than the misery my loved ones are going through and about which I can do nothing. My version however, is turning into an epic. If this continues it may well turn out to be longer than the play itself.
NOT good news. Suerly they should just give her the painkillers, so that she is comfortable? I mean, if she is going to die soon anyway, shouldn’t they make it as pain free as possible? I don’t know.
So sorry its all so grim for you at the moment.
Do keep on with the King Lear distraction though!
So sorry to hear this, you must be torn in so many directions, Jason, the children and your in-laws. Sadly the medical profession are tied re medications because of the Hippocratic oath – not endangering life bit – so often they have to err on side of caution, even tho it makes things worse for both patients and their families. No consolation I know so all I can do is send lots of love xx
I have heard it said often that doctors will be generous to help someone slip away peacefully and reduce or avoid suffering. I was gutted when my father died, even though the hospital prepared us – and I knew he would suffer if he carried on living, but he was my dad and I didn’t want to lose him. I am so very sorry for Jason, it is unspeakably sad to lose a parent, somehow you always think they will be there. I have to stop to cry myself now
I am so sorry about your MIL. What a terrible thing for your family to be experiencing. My thoughts are with you all.
x
It’s unbearable when the very thing you don’t want to happen will be the kindest and best solution. Such a dreadful shock for you all.Much love and hugs.
Awful, awful news. I’m so sorry for Jason. Thinking of you all x
Justme
I wish that too. Apparently not allowed, and now they think she is rallying and fighting off the pneumonia. Which leads us to terrible scenario number two.
Henri
accepted with grateful thanks.xx
Alienne
I know what you mean. I have to keep going and locking myself in cupboards and having a quiet snivel for all my lost, loved ones in similar situations. Shit isn’t it?
Nicola
Thank you hon.xx
Jenny
It is indeed. A choice between two equally awful things and the only resolution being really awful too.
Bev
Thanks lovely.xx
I’m so sorry Katy. For your MIL’s sake and for Jason’s I hope that this last part is peaceful a
as it can be.
Sorry. Baby hit submit before I had finished.
Love to you.
xx