Saturday 28th February – Cat Breath Dreams

Had the most intense dream last night when I fell asleep on the sofa ‘reading’ my book.

In real life I used to have two cats, brothers called Ronnie and Reggie.  When I got them home from the animal rescue shelter I was going to rename them Bacon and Eggs. After a week I realised they already had the perfect names, and the Kray twins they stayed forever more.

By the time I divorced from UE they had gained an adoptive sister Pinkie (the getaway driver).  My eventual plan had been to get another cat later on called Jack The Hat McVitie and complete the gang.  Anyway this never happened.  UE did not love cats and we were moving in with Jason who not only did not love cats but had a rental house in which cats were strictly verboten.

The poor creatures were the orphans in the storm. My parents would not have them. They had already adopted two orphan catlings from me hundreds of years previously, the furry offspring of my doomed relationship with IF.  They had done their bit.  In the end, fabulous cousin Tom took pity on them and agreed to shelter them in his paternal bosom.  Thus bringing his cat count to four.  He already had a dog count of two. It was animal insanity.

Since that time Ronnie ran off, brain melted by the presence of dogs in his life. Pinkie and Reggie stayed, but Tom left. So his ex girlfriend is now their sole parent. This is why we never see the cats anymore.

To be honest, with three kids on my hands I don’t miss them like I thought I would.  I particularly don’t miss the high proportion of dead birds and rodents in my life.

As usual, I digress.

I fell asleep clutching my book.  I dreamed I was asleep on the sofa (my amazing psychic powers still as sharp as ever).  Suddenly a weight landed on my stomach and I felt the unmistakeable pad of paws walking up my chest.

Moments later I could smell warm cat breath (ewww!) on my face and whiskers tickling my nose.  I opened my eyes to find Ronnie watching me, his liquid green eyes staring right into my face. I could see the flecks of yellow in the irises we were so close, practically nose to nose.

I put my hand up and he moved his head to nuzzle into my palm.  He used to do this thing where if I made a kind of oval shape bringing my thumb and forefinger together he would try to push his snoot into it and kind of funnel his whole head through my hand. In the dream I made the shape with my fingers and he pushed his head into it. I could feel the bones and angles of his skull under the fur as he shunted into me.  I watched as the pressure of my hand pulled his skin back a little and made his sharp teeth sneer out from under his top lip.  His ears felt like silk and I ran the tips of my fingers round the base of them and under his chin, scratching, as he pushed his head into the air, whiskers fanning with pleasure.

In my peripheral vision I could see his brother Reggie sitting patiently by the side of the sofa waiting for his turn.

Then I woke up.

I was so surprised when I woke up that they weren’t there it seemed so real.

I felt quite bereft.

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